Until The Day I Die: A Sidney Crosby Story

Chapter Eight: Lord Stanley, May I Have This Dance? 

 

We had a great day out at the movies and we had some dinner before heading home around six. When we got there I found a post it on the door reading simply ‘I Love You’. No name or anything, just that. But it was obvious who it was and I smiled as I took it down and we headed inside. I found Mischa in the same place we’d left her this afternoon but didn’t wake her up as I put the cat food and water down in the kitchen with her kitty treats. I stood up from that and saw a beautiful bouquet of flowers in a vase on the table with another post it. ‘See you tomorrow, baby.’ I smiled and put more water in the vase as everyone else settled in for the night. I was in bed before all of them, though, as I had practice to attend the next morning and I was worried about not being able to get up. But not being able to go to sleep was the hardest part. Ever since I’d come back from Florida I’d been with Sidney. We’d always been together at night and it had kept me from having nightmares. And I never thought that it would be so hard to fall asleep without him but nothing had ever been so difficult.

And I finally did get to sleep and I woke up the next day ready to go. Go I did. Practice was a bitch and Marc and I trained harder than ever. But we were ready for the Hurricanes. They came at us with everything they had and more but we swept the series 4-0. Perfect. We’d won the Prince of Wales. My parents were thrilled, as were my brothers, and from their seats in the box I could almost hear them screaming from the ice. Sidney took the trophy around the ice and showed it off, sort of melancholy as he did so. He’d broken the taboo. He’d touched the Prince of Wales. But we hadn’t last year. It seemed like a good plan. Maybe this year things would change. This year we would win. We already knew we were playing our rivals. Detroit. Wonderful. Revenge.

We boarded our flight to Detroit that night and I’d brought Mischa along. She sat in my lap and relaxed with Sidney and I, occasionally climbing the seats to go in front of us and visit Marc and Jordan. Everyone on the team took to her as they had taken to me and some of them had even bought treats to give her. Detroit seemed even more buzzing since last time I’d been there and everyone booed us as we went into the hotel where we’d be staying. I called Sidney out on his deal with me and we roomed together for the first time on the road, earning an harmonious chorus of wolf called and noises as we went up the stairs to go to bed that night.

Saturday was our first game against the Wings and it went horribly. 1-3 loss. Repeat. Rewind. Cut, Shoot, get to the point. Our team morale was low for practice the day after and the game that night went the exact same way. It was like we were stuck in a rut that would never be fixed. Sidney didn’t want to talk that night but some persuasion and the help of my sexy pajamas fixed that right quick. A few romps around the hotel room later he was feeling a little better but still frustrated and we stayed up late watching rewinds of the tapes from that night. He wanted to know what we’d done wrong and asked me to diagram plans for him. Of course I obliged and helped him with everything he needed, though sometimes he disagreed with me until he was given adequate proof of what I was saying.

Eventually we fell asleep but we were woken up a few hours later when Dany pounded on our door. Time to leave for Pittsburgh. We packed up in robot mode and left the hotel, still half asleep, making it to the airport before anyone else was there. Getting through security was a breeze and we hopped onto the plane tiredly. Mischa was just as tired as we were and she slept on Sidney’s lap while slept with my head on his shoulder listening to his soft snores. We got up as soon as we hit the strip and left the airport as soon as we were off, heading for my house. Riley, Colby and my parents weren’t there yet so we took the time alone and cuddled up on the couch, enjoying the fact that we were there.

The next two games went beautifully and Sidney thanked me profusely for diagramming everything out to him. And part of his thanks involved a few runs around his house late at night. Not that I was objecting. I loved Sidney with a passion. He was amazing. Perfect. Mine. We didn’t bother diagramming anything for game five because we believed that we’d do fine with our system. It’d went well enough at the Mellon. What could go wrong? Boy did we fuck up.

The next game was in Detroit and I’d left Mischa at home since Mom was home with the flu. We went into the arena cocky and expecting everything to go our way. We were two wins away from the Stanley Cup, for Gods sake. But we lost. Horribly. 0-5 shut out. Marc was feeling the pain. Everyone on the team was blaming him in their minds and it came out in the locker room for sure.

“What the Fuck, Flower?! This is the Finals! You can’t fuck up like that!!” Sidney yelled through unexplainable rage as he entered the locker room. He threw his bag down in his stall as Marc followed him through the room. I was almost a little scared to get in the middle of it. I’d never seen him in such a rage before. I mean he was never happy when we lost but I think this finally hit him where it hurts. Pressed the wrong buttons.

“Fuck you, Sidney! I didn’t see you out there doing a damn thing on offense.” Marc screamed back, throwing his things down as well.

“Well if the fucking defensemen could stop anything at all we wouldn’t fucking lose like this!” Sidney answered, turning around with eyes burning a passionate fire.

“Hey! Fuck you! We’re doing the best we fucking can!” Scudsy answered, flying into an almost uncontrollable rage.

“Well you certainly aren’t doing the job that Ray pays you to do because we’re not exactly seeing the scoreboard light up, Crosby.” Kris said condescendingly, glaring at Sidney.

“It’s hard to put pucks in net when defense doesn’t get the puck out of our zone.” Sidney growled low in his throat.

“Fuck that. You’re perfectly capable of getting the damn puck out of our zone yourself!” Marc screamed.

“Oh fuck you!” Sidney screamed, getting right into Marc’s face. Marc almost hit him when I finally jumped in. I pushed Sidney away from Marc and stood between them, preventing either of them from taking or sending a hit.

“Hey! Stop it! Stop it right now! You’re all acting like little kids! It was a bad game. So what! This is a race to four not three! We can come back! Calm down. We’re going home for a game. We’re going to win.” I said, gaining the respect and quiet of everyone else. Everyone who knew I was right regained hope. Sidney on the other hand was the only one with the balls enough to push it.

“How the hell do you fucking know we’re going to win? You don’t! We could be fucking done! Our season could be over!” he screamed at me. I took a step back, fearing him for the first time ever. This wasn’t the Sidney I loved. This was the Sidney that got into trouble. The one that could hurt people.

“You don’t know that.” I told him, trying to calm him down.

“Oh stop feeding me a line of shit, Bernie. You know as fucking damn well as I do that we’re done. This season is over and we’re not going to be able to make a come back.” he hissed under his breath.

“It’s not a line of shit!” I screamed, finally snapping.

“Oh yeah and I’m the fucking queen of England!” he yelled back. It hit me then that this was the first time we’d ever fought. Ever.

“Sidney you’re being a little baby! Fuck you! What the hell are you thinking!? Can’t you calm down enough for one second to realize that the world doesn’t revolve around one game?” I yelled at him, almost feeling the urge to hit him.

“I’ll realize that just about the time you realize that your stupid ass ideas about trying to change people’s opinions don’t work. Every single time you try to tell me that something’s going to change it never happens so why the fuck should I have any faith in you now? Huh? There’s no fucking proof.” he said, calmly now but he was aiming below the belt. And it hit home. I felt the tears start to sting my eyes but I tried my best to keep them from falling.

“Fuck you and fuck your ideas, Sidney. Fuck all of it. I don’t need you telling me that my ideals are stupid and I don’t need you ruining what little hope I still have for this team. I’m done.” I said, finally letting one tear fall down my face before I turned away from him.

“No one asked you to fucking give us your opinion. We all know what we need to do without you telling us it’ll all be alright. We’re big kids now. So I’m done too. I‘m done with hearing you telling me all of it. I‘m done with the diagrams. I‘m done with you.” He hissed. I walked out unhappily, crying and completely pissed off.

No one came after me but I didn’t really want them to. I’d just told Sidney that it was over. And it hurt me more inside now than anything had ever hurt me. But Sidney couldn’t very well be treating me this way every single time we lost a game. And I wasn’t about to deal with it. No. Not now. Not ever.

And on the way back to Pittsburgh I sat in the front with the coaches, silently crying a little every time I heard Sidney’s voice from the back of the plane. Dan tried to consol me but it still stung every second. It was like someone had poured salt on the wound and stomped in it.

We made it home and I went straight to my house, not bothering to talk to anyone there. I headed to bed and woke up the next morning in shambles. I’d fucked up the one thing in my life that might’ve been wonderful. And I walked into the kitchen to find my mother making breakfast.

“Honey. Aw, honey what’s wrong?” she asked, sliding me a cup of coffee as I wiped the tears that were falling.

“Sidney and I broke up yesterday after the game.” I told her as she wiped her nose. Immediately she was coddling me.

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.” she said, hugging me, “What happened?”

“I don’t know. He was fighting with Marc and when I broke them up he snapped at me. I couldn’t just take it and I lashed out. He started playing dirty and told me off. And I just left. I didn’t want to deal with him but it hurts.” I told her, sighing deeply while I took a drink of coffee and she kissed my head.

“I’ll be back in a minute. I’m gonna take your father and the boys their coffee…” she stopped, picking up a tray. I took it out of her hands lightly and sat my cup on it.

“I’ll get it mom. I have to get on with things. I can’t just sit around.” I said, almost inaudible. She nodded and followed me into the other room where Dad, Riley and Colby sat on the couch watching Sports Center for the highlights, or rather lowlights, of last night’s game. I handed them their coffee but when they noticed I wasn’t going to make a joke about anything they all sort of gave me a funny look. I sat down on the couch between Riley and Colby and sipped my coffee, trying really hard not to break down and just trying to watch tv. But five months of being with someone ended so abruptly was bound to hurt a little bit. And I’d really known him for longer. All of it had come to a sudden and complete stop in one day. One conversation. One fight.

And finally it all seemed to hit me like a train when they showed our interview. We’d done it that night before game and we were both so confident. So happy. And it hurt me. It was like a knife to the heart. A few tears fell down my face and I tried my best to wipe them quickly away but Riley caught me. Stupid peripheral vision.

“Sissy what’s wrong?” he asked, sitting his cup down on the table and putting his arm around me. I sighed and tried to keep steady but I fell to my own unhappiness and tears fell down faster.

“Bernie what’s wrong? Honestly. I’ve never seen you cry this much.” Colby said, putting his arm around me too. I took a deep breath and looked over at him as Mom took Dad into the kitchen. My brother’s had always taken care of me. And Mom knew that. I turned to Riley and cried into his shirt, feeling his arms wrapping around me. It was probably the most comforting thing he’d ever done.

“Sidney and I broke up.” I mumbled into his chest.

“What?” Colby asked, “Say that again, I can’t understand you.”

I lifted my head with much effort and looked him straight in the eye, tears rolling down my face. And it was then that he realized he shouldn’t have asked. “Sidney and I had a fight.”

“But sweetie that doesn’t mean anything. He loves you.” Riley said comfortingly. I tried to push my way out of his arms but they bound me like a caged animal and I gave up, tears flowing harder.

“We broke up, Riley!” I screamed in a whisper. “There’s nothing okay with that!”

“You two broke up? But why? You’re so perfect for each other.” Colby said, running his hand over my back.

“Apparently not, Colbs. He called me stupid and broke up with me. I don’t know what hurts worse. The fact that I’m not with him or the fact that he crushed my self esteem.” I told him, letting Riley wipe my face.

“Well it’ll be okay. There are other guys in this town. Better ones.” Riley told me, holding me close while Colby got up off the couch.

“It’ll all be alright, you’ll see.” Colby assured, walking away towards the door.

“Whatever you say, Colby.” I told him, hearing the door open.

“Hey, Riles. We have to go get our hockey stuff. C’mon.” Colby called from outside. Riley hugged me and kissed my head, wiping my eyes.

“We’ll be back. Just try not to think about it, alright? It’s all gonna work out.” he whispered gently, standing up and leaving me on the couch. I put my head in my hands and prayed to God for dear life itself that he was right. This kind of pain shook me to the core and I didn’t know exactly how long I’d be able to take it. I heard the door close and I headed back to my room to sleep. Maybe I would wake up and everything would be like it was yesterday before the game. Maybe.

><><><Colby’s POV><><><

“Can you fucking believe him, Riley?” I half screamed as we climbed into my car.

“No. She doesn’t deserve that.” Riley answered easily. Always a voice of reason.

“Well I warned him.” I said, pulling out and driving down the street towards Sid’s house. He was going to get what was coming to him because I was gonna give it to him. I got to the Lemiuex’s in record time and stopped in the driveway. The Lemiuex’s car was gone but Sidney’s was there. Parked in all its snobbish glory in the driveway. I felt the insane urge to key it but I resisted as Riley and I got out and walked up the back way to Sid’s door.

“Calm down. You cant just kill him.” Riley said, hand on my shoulder. I guess he’d noticed the fact that my knuckles were white with anger or that I hadn’t slouched once since I’d been out of the car. Sometimes I believed that he knew me better than I really knew myself. I guess all those years of me being angry with him were to his benefit.

“Yeah, you’re right. He needs to know why I’m killing him first.” I answered through clenched teeth. Riley stopped my arm before I knocked on the door.

“Don’t kill him. Not only because we’d have to dispose of the body but because if you really want to hurt him you need to mentally get to him. Physical pain is nothing compared to the torture you could do on someone’s mind.” he reminded me.

I sighed and relaxed a little, understanding where he was going with this. I was a brain ninja. Self proclaimed so after Bernie had taught me to fuck with people’s minds. And I was quite good at it. I retch out my hand and knocked on the door lightly, preparing for whatever it was I needed to do to get back at Sidney. He’d been warned after all.

“Who is it?” Sidney’s voice was rough and sounded like he’d just woken up.

“Colby and Riley.” I answered as mellow as I could. The door swung open easily and we walked in to the darkness of Sid’s apartment. It looked almost as if he was committing a murder and was plotting in the dark. The door closed and the light flipped on, showing the room in shambles. I hadn’t seen a room this messy since we’d roomed together in that hotel in Anaheim.

“Hey. What do you guys need?” Sid’s voice was even more rough now that we weren’t separated by a door. I threw myself down on his couch with Riley next to me before we looked over and saw him. Sidney was only wearing his shorts and he had deep dark circles under his eyes. His hair was all screwed up and he looked like he hadn’t gotten much sleep.

“We came over to tell you that you’re a fucking idiot.” Riley said, gaining the anger he’d told me to lose.

“What?” Sidney asked, a little shocked that Riley of all people was treating him this way. I could tell that he was surprised, as I was, for that matter. Riley had never been anything but nice to Sidney until this point. I guess seeing Bernie in pain really fucked with him.

“We heard about you and Bernie getting into it yesterday.” I told him, immediately catching his eyes. They were hard now, full of what seemed to be something fake. A false front.

“Yeah. We got into it and broke up. So?” he said, trying hard to keep steady. I could tell there was something inside of him that was paining him but he was keeping it to himself. And personally that was just fine with me. That’d just make it all the better when I ninja’d his brain.

“So you really hurt her, Crosby.” I said, standing up but maintaining a relaxed state. “So you didn’t have to be an asshole.”

“If all you came here to do is bash me then get the fuck out.” Sidney said through now building real anger. I sighed and walked over to him, hearing Riley get up behind me. Riley beat me to him and stood firm in front of Sid, clenching his hands to prevent seeming angry.

“We didn’t come to bash you. We just came to make sure that you knew how much you fucking hurt our little sister. I have never seen her so hurt. Ever. So if you ever even think about coming near her again, don’t. Because I swear to God, if you hurt her again I’ll beat you into the next dimension.” Riley finished in a rage and walked out, leaving me alone with Sidney. His front went down and he looked over at me.

“How bad did I hurt her, Army? How bad is it?” Sidney asked me, almost collapsing right in front of me.

“It’s bad, Sidney. She was crying so hard. I’ve never seen her hurt like this.” I said, finally leveling with him. His face fell and his eyes showed his clear pain about it. But then he snapped into this front again, somehow becoming a jerk again.

“Well that’s too damn bad for her then. She shouldn’t have gotten in the way like a fucking idiot. She knows how it is when we lose. She should know better by fucking now.” he said in his toughest, angriest growl. And that’s when I lost it. I picked him up by his collar and slammed him on the wall next to the door.

“Now you fucking listen to me. You don’t ever talk bad about my sister, not now or ever. And you damn well won’t talk bad about her when I’m around. You can go fuck yourself if you think you’re just going to get away with it. Because Riley and I, unlike you, care about her. So fuck you, Sidney.” I told him, throwing him against the wall as I left the house. I wasn’t about to deal with him now. He was just being an idiot. I climbed into the car beside a steaming Riley and headed for home, knowing that Bernie needed us more now than we needed to beat Sidney to a pulp.

><><Bernie’s POV<><><>

I must’ve cried for three days straight in between doing things for the team, hanging out with Riley and Colby and cleaning up my house. Mischa kept me company most nights and was smothered in my tears more than once. We won our next game at home and I chose to not spend my time with the team on the bench, instead favoring watching the game from my office on a tv that was mounted beside my bookshelf. It was great to see us win but I was numb. No feelings went in, no feelings came out. Just melancholy.

Colby and Riley insisted that I eat but I mostly just stared at the food, unwilling to do much else. I ate, slept and cried. Not many words came out of my mouth on the way to the airport for Detroit the night before the game but it really hit home when we checked into the hotel. I made sure to come in last with the coaches so that I would get a room as far away from Sidney’s as I could. But not sleeping in his room really was a low blow. It was the final thing I needed for another sleepless night.

I checked in and Dan walked me up to my room, which was the very last room on the floor, one away from anyone else’s. That was good. I would be far enough away from everyone else that no one would hear me crying. No one would come and make me feel better. Thank God. I took my bags, along with Mischa, into the room and sat everything down. It was a big room. King sized bed, pull out couch, LCD flat screen, bathroom, mini-fridge, chair. I let Mischa out of her cage and she climbed all over everything, eventually settling into the pillow on the side of the bed I wasn’t sitting on. I sat my head in my hands and cried a little more, feeling as low as I had in days. I’d thought about calling Sidney more than once in the last few days. And a couple times I’d almost given in. But Riley and Colby were there to remind me that he’d lost something great.

And it was times like these when I was sitting alone in a hotel room that I wished I had Sidney there to keep me company. I missed him. I missed him so much. But I wasn’t going to go after him. I had more dignity than that. Every time I ever thought about going to get him I could hear him screaming at me in my head. It hurt me even more when I heard that again and again. But this time when I thought about it I heard Dan talking to me.

‘You know it’s not his fault, Bernie. He’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders. He gets frustrated and angry. Everyone expects so much of him and he gets aggressive when he can’t live up to the bar that every one else has set for him. He can’t do everything perfectly and it gets to him. It’s not like he tries to be an ass. He just does sometimes when he sees himself failing. He wants to do well and he doesn’t think about what it could cost him if he freaks out..’

Dan was sort of right. Everyone expected so much from Sidney. But that was no reason for his behavior. No reason at all. And I wasn’t about to take it from him every time he got frustrated. I climbed into bed beside Mischa and drifted in and out of sleep, waking up every time Mischa moved. It wasn’t dark yet so I spent some time staring out into the fading light of the day. What a wonderful way to spend the night before game seven of the finals.

><><Sid’s POV><><>

I sat my stuff down in my room and fell over onto the bed. I was so tired. The last few days had really exhausted me. I was pulling all the stuff out of my bags when someone knocked on my door.

“Who’s there?” I asked, temporarily hoping that I would hear her voice.

“It’s Eric.” Godsy’s voice crushed my hope and I kept putting things away.

“It’s open.” I told him blandly, hanging up my suit on the door for tomorrow. I heard Eric walk in and the door close. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about….” Eric trailed off, looking over at me as he sat down in the chair that leaned against the wall. I took a breath and looked up at him.

“Eric I’ve been through this, I’m not trading lines with you.” I said, remembering practice the other day.

“No no. It’s not that. I mean that was a problem I had but I’m just… I’m a little concerned here, Sidney.” His voice was different than I ever remember it. Odd. Calm. Thoughtful.

“Then what’s the problem here? We’re tied in the series. It’s great. Everything’s looking up.” I said, sitting down on the bed. “What’s the problem?”

“I think you really fucked up something good, Sid.” Great. Eric was going to start on me just like everyone else had.

“I don’t think my personal life has anything to do with you.” I growled, about ready to kick him out. Eric put his hands up in defense and he sat back timidly.

“Hey, don’t get me wrong here. If I’d been given the opportunity before this I would’ve wanted you two to break up but even I didn’t want this. You’re making her miserable. And I know that you can’t be feeling nothing. Almost six months together with someone has to mean something to you. I know it does.” Eric started calmly, looking up at me, “She was the best part of your life. She was always there for you whenever you needed her. After every loss and every interview she was there. You can’t tell me you don’t miss her. You can‘t sit there and tell me that you don‘t want her back.”

“It doesn’t matter, Eric! Because she wouldn’t have me back. And besides, if she can’t deal with me we shouldn’t be together.” I told him, looking away and avoiding thinking about her.

“I can’t believe you, Sidney.” he said, standing up, “You know, you’re losing the best thing that ever happened to you because you’ve got your head shoved so far up your ass you’ve lost sight of the way out. She was good for you. She was the best for you. And you’re so stupid you don’t see it. Well good fucking luck trying to find anyone else that would deal with your attitude. Because it’ll be a cold day in hell when you do.”

“Yeah, right.” I replied sarcastically. He stomped off towards the door and left. And I’m glad he left when he had because if he didn’t I would have cried in front of him. No one needed to see my weaknesses. No one needed to know I even had any. But I did. And she was right down the hall. I didn’t know what I was going to do. Everyone had come to bother me about this. I didn’t even have time enough to think about it by myself for a while. It was hard to get a moment alone when you’d broken up with the team’s adoptive sister.

I sat around alone for a while thinking about everything Eric had just said and it finally hit me where it hurt. If Eric Godard, toughest man on our team, enforcer extraordinaire, was here telling me about how much I’d fucked up I must have done something really wrong.

><><><><Bernie’s POV><><><><><>

I sat around for a long time, just listening to the silence in the room. The tv was on but it was muted and all that I could hear was the soft purring noise that Mischa was making. It was hard dealing with being alone again. Six months was wearing on me like a wave wore away the beach. I heard a door down the hall being slammed but I thought nothing of it. Maybe one of the guys wasn’t thinking when they closed their door. Oh well.

A few more hours passed and I cried every minute of them. Mischa tried her best to keep me company but it was futile. I wasn’t going to easily be cheered up. And finally, as the sunlight faded down and I heard footsteps on our floor a knock resonated through my room.

“Who is it?” I asked through a cracking voice. There was no answer so I wiped my face and threw on some cover up to hide the fact that I’d been crying. “I’m coming.”

I opened the door to find the man who’d caused me oppression the last few days. But it was the most comforting, heartbreaking thing I’d ever seen. “What do you want?” I said coldly, staring up at Sidney with a glare that probably would’ve killed him.

“I just came to talk.” Sidney’s voice was heavy and strained.

“Well I don’t really think I have much to say to you.” I said, attempting to close the door. Sid stopped it with his hand and stared up at me. I stopped dead.

“Just please. Listen to me. I don’t want to come in if that makes you feel uncomfortable but we can’t just keep ignoring each other like this.” he said easily, pleading with me. I stopped and looked at him, folding my arms and holding in the tears that were stinging my eyes.

“You’ve got ten seconds.” I said icily, watching his every move.

“I just…. These last few days….. And the other day…… I don’t know…. I love you.” he fumbled his words confusedly, unsure of how to make his point.

“Yeah well you should’ve thought about that before you fought with me.” I told him plainly, about ready to close the door on him.

“You don’t understand!” Sidney barked, causing Mischa to jump up off the pillow. I shoved him into the hallway and closed the door behind me.

“Well then why don’t you explain it to me.” I growled.

“I love you. And I’ve always loved you. And I’ll never stop. The last few days without you have been a living hell for me and I can’t deal with you ever leaving me alone again. I don’t ever want to be with anyone else. I just want to be with you. All the time. Every day. Every night. All the time. Forever and ever. And I can’t sleep without you. And I cry all the time and I can’t focus on plays and I hope that every time my phone rings that its you but it never is.” he blurted out suddenly. I looked up into his face but his head was turned to the floor, tears streaming down. “And I can’t live like this forever. It hurts me so much that I can’t hold you. I love you. I love you. I love you. What else can I say?”

“You can’t say a damn thing to change what you did, Sidney. You freaked out and you screwed up and there’s nothing you can say to me to change that. Ever.” I said coldly, watching him close his eyes in sorrow and frustration. Finally, after a minute of holding back, I broke down. I felt a moment of weakness and I reached out to him, putting my hand on his shoulder. “But you’re under stress. You don‘t know what you‘re saying right now. Tomorrow‘s the biggest game of your life. You‘re just mistaking nerves for love.”

“Stress doesn’t excuse how I was acting. And this isn’t nerves this is love. This is me and it’s you. It’s raw and stress isn’t effecting me. I know exactly what I want and how I feel. And I just want you. I want you to just hold me and tell me that everything’s going to be okay because I can’t deal with this. All these feelings that’re flying around inside me. I don’t know what’s going on but it’s like I’m falling and I can’t catch myself.” Sidney mumbled, confused. I sighed and let a tear fall down my face. I jumped at the opportunity and I threw my arms around him, pulling him close. I ran my fingers through his messy hair and held him for a minute.

“It’s all going to be alright.” I whispered, feeling his arms tightly wrap around me. I’d never felt a feeling that compared to this one. It was the greatest feeling in the world.

“I hope it is because I don’t want to lose you again.” he begged, crying into my shoulder. I held him for as long as he needed to be held and I didn’t complain. He cried on me for almost ten minutes before he backed away and looked down at me. Now I was crying. “Baby I love you. And I will always love you. No matter what I say when I’m angry. No matter what happens. I‘m a jerk and I‘m not always the nicest and sometimes I‘m the scum of the earth but no matter what I say I will always love you.”

“I know that you love me but you really hurt me Sidney. You killed me. I don’t understand what the problem was and you put me through everything I never wanted to go through. How am I suppose to forgive you for that?” I asked through tears. His eyes fell and he finally saw through what I’d been putting up the last few days. He saw that he’d hurt me and he was paying for it in spades.

“I don’t know. But I’ll do anything. I’ll stay up all night for three weeks. I’ll walk on water. I’ll fly off a building. I’ll beat up Eric. Whatever needs to be done, I’ll do it.” he said, pleading with me, “I’ll do it all for you.”

I looked up at him and watched his eyes looking at me, pained. And as soon as I felt that he had taken enough I wrapped my arms around him and held on for dear life. “Just be there. Be there for me, Sidney. I need you to be here with me.”

“I’ll be here for you forever. Forever and ever. Until the day I die.” he promised me, hugging me close. “I love you. I love you so much. Will you take me back?”

For a second I actually thought about it but then I was overcome by the feeling of joy that was filling me up. I loved him. He loved me. I wanted him. He wanted me. No questions. There was nothing I needed to think about. “As long as I never hear that question again.”

“Baby girl…” he whispered through what I knew was a rough throat and teary eyes. I gave in and looked up at him, seeing that he was teary eyed but not crying as I was. Not more than three seconds later his lips were on mine in a fiery dance that begged me for forgiveness. It was the most delicate kiss that he’d ever given me. It was like he was afraid he was going to break me. We broke apart a minute later, breathless, to the sounds of footsteps stopping dead at the other end of the hall. Sid and I both turned our heads towards the noise and found that Max, Marc, Eric, Geno, Kris and Jordan were stopped dead staring at us. I buried my face in Sidney’s chest and he held me, kissing my head.

“We’ve been had.” I whispered, feeling better that moment than I had in days.

“I don’t give a fuck who knows that I love you.” he answered, holding me close. I smiled and relaxed into his chest, only thinking of the fact that we were in the hall after a minute.

“Sidney….” I trailed off, looking up at him. And, as he often did, he knew exactly what I was going to say.

“I’ve wanted to stay with you for days.” he answered my question before I’d ever even asked. His hand pushed open my door and we slid inside quietly, closing the door behind us. We stood in the doorway for a minute, unsure of what we were going to say until Sidney caught me in another kiss. It lasted longer than the last one and it wasn’t as scared or gentle. It was hard and violent, loving and crazed. And when it broke I smiled and hugged him close.

“God I missed you.” I told him sheepishly. He chuckled and kissed me again and again, stopping only when he noticed Mischa climbing up his shirt, mewing like crazy.

“I don’t think you’re the only one.” he said, picking Mischa up and kissing her head, touching noses with her afterwards. I laughed as Mischa licked him over and over again, mewing and purring and rubbing up against him as he held her.

“Mischa missed you too.” I said, letting go of Sidney as he coddled the cat for a minute. He kissed her head and scratched her behind the ears and she seemed content to have his company again. Often times when he would leave my house she would sit behind the front door for twenty minutes waiting to see if he was coming back. She’d really become attached to him.

“I missed you too, Mischa. You’re such a sweetie.” Sidney cooed as Mischa rubbed her head on his cheek, purring so loudly that I could hear her from where I stood a foot away. I laughed as Sid tried to put Mischa down but she clung to him like glue.

“She loves you, Sid.” I said, sitting down on the couch and watching his failing efforts to sit the cat down.

“I love her too.” he said, laughing as he gave up and brought Mischa over to me. The cat jumped down into my lap and curled up, licking my hand and closing her eyes in triumph. I looked up at Sidney and he smiled, “But I love the girl holding her more.”

“I love you too, Sidney.” I told him as he sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders.

“And I’m really sorry for everything I did. I just…. I get frustrated and angry when I see myself failing. I know I can do better and when I get angry I just can’t really keep it to myself. It’s not one of my better qualities….” he trailed off, pulling me over to him, “And I’m sorry for calling your ideas stupid. They’re not. Actually they keep us going and I’m really glad we have you around to tell us that it’ll be alright. It gets us all ready to go again and do things we didn’t believe we could do. It’s nice to have someone believing in you even when you don……” I stopped him.

“Sidney you know you can do it. And I know you get angry because everyone does. I do. It’s never a great quality. And I know you don’t think my ideas are stupid but it doesn’t help much when you keep putting me down. I’m not just an endless flow of happy go lucky ideas about things. I need some encouragement too. You should believe in yourself. You all should. You’ve made it this far. Tomorrow’s game seven when all people could say was Wings in Six. This organization is amazing. This team is amazing. You are amazing.” I said, not bothering to look up and watch his face. I felt his arm pulling me closer and he kissed my head.

“This is why I love you.” he whispered, “Because you can deal with me. You never give up hope in me. You’re always there for me to lean on. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’re too sweet.” I told him, looking up into his eyes. He smiled that wide crooked smile and I couldn’t help but mentally swoon.

“No. I’m just the stupid hockey player that got lucky.” he answered gently, “And I won’t ever let anyone else get lucky. Because you’re my baby girl. I love you more than I can even say. You are my forever.”

I couldn’t say anything because I was mentally falling over myself as I tried to figure out if he was saying what I thought he was saying. He saw my confusion and laughed a little, kissing my head.

“Don’t worry. There’s no ring hidden in my pockets. I just don’t want to waste my time not telling you how I feel about you. And breaking up is something I never want to do again. So I’m not going to keep everything I’m feeling to myself anymore. Maybe that’ll prevent a break up.” he said thoughtfully as we leaned back and relaxed into the couch.

“I love you, Sidney Crosby. And you don’t have to tell me how you feel about me. Every time you look at me I can see it. And when you kiss me, oh forget it. I can barely remember to breathe. You’re the best.” I told him, cuddling up beside him and earning Mischa’s word of displeasure. We laughed at her as she situated herself on the coffee table but then we just sat together. After an hour of silence Sidney finally said something.

“Honey….” he whispered, kissing my head. I smiled and looked up at him with easy eyes, finally feeling comfortable for the first time in at least a week. He gazed down at me softly and kissed my lips, smiling into them. “Can we go out tonight?”

“Mmmm……” I complained quietly, “Siddy…..”

“It’s not far. I just want to go out. I need to go to the rink with Max and Marc anyways. Come with us. Please.” he half begged, “I don’t want to leave you now.”

“Hmm…. I dunno….” I said thoughtfully, looking up into his eyes. He kissed me again and gave me the puppy face, only cracking a smile after I did. “Okay. But only because I don’t want you to leave me either.”

“I love you, babe.” he whispered, smiling as he kissed me again and I wrinkled my nose. I ran a finger over his beard, or fluff rather, and he laughed.

“I think I’d love you more if the fluff was gone.” I joked, kissing him lightly. He laughed and gave me a sad look.

“Awwww… you don’t like my beard? I like it. So bah humbug.” he answered, sticking his tongue out at me. We laughed together for a minute before I heard a knock on my door.

“Sisssssyyyy!!” Colby’s voice boomed through the room. I heard the key in the door and it opened thanks to Colby’s sneaky hand. He’d taken one of my keys when I’d checked in. He peaked in and saw Sidney and his face immediately changed from peppy to melancholy.

“Hi Colby.” I called over, “What brings you up here?”

“I just wanted to check on you.” he said in a rough tone, seemingly thoughtful about the scene before him. I could see the worried look in his eyes and I met it with one of calm serenity.

“I’m fine.” I told him, feeling a warm chill run up my spine as Sid pulled me closer to his chest and I caught his sorrowful eyes in my peripheral vision. “How’s Riles?”

“He’s good. Still a little sick but he’ll be alright. Stupid shrimp.” he mumbled, “Anyway I was gonna ask you to go to the rink with me but you’re busy so I’ll just go by myself.”

“Hey wait. Sid and I were going to go to the rink with Max and Marc. We’ll see you there.” I told him as he turned around. I could almost see the disbelief in him but he nodded and walked out. Sidney let out a deep sigh and I looked over at him a little confusedly. “What’s wrong?”

“Your brothers and I aren’t exactly on equal terms right now.” he answered softly, leaning back on the couch.

“What happened between you guys? I mean Riley’s never been your biggest fan but Colby’s your best friend.” I said, watching his eyes dim.

“They came to my house after we broke up and we got into it. I don’t know how long it’ll take to patch up but we’re just not speaking much right now. I’m on thin ice.” he explained, standing up and pulling me along

“What exactly is thin ice?” I asked as we walked towards the door. Sidney stopped and ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath.

“Colby almost beat my face in.” he said finally, clearly unhappy with what had transpired between the two of them. He and Colby had been friends for as long as I could remember and I wasn’t exactly happy with the fact that they weren’t getting along very well. Especially since they’d gotten into a fight about me.

“Awww Sid, I’m sorry.” I said quietly as we walked out of my room into the hall.

“It’s alright. We’ll get over it. We’re best friends after all.” he answered, attempting to look on the bright side. I smiled. He was finally understanding where my happiness came from. Optimism was something that had always made my day a lot easier.

“I hope so. I don’t want you two to fight. I love you both.” I mumbled as we made it down the hallway and to the stairs before we heard another door open. There were footsteps and then I heard some wolf calls that were strikingly familiar after all this time. Max, Geno and Jordan. They’d all been taking care of me since Sidney and I had broken up and they took special pride in making me feel better. That and hitting on me. Geno was a sweetheart and Jordan was just crazy and Max; well there was no real way to describe him.

“Tu eşti foarte sexy, fată!” Geno called after me, causing my face to turn pink.

“Tu eşti nu jumătate bad tu însuti!” I called back to him from where we stood a few steps from the top. Sidney raised an eyebrow in wonder and kissed my hand.

“Geno trying to steal my girl?” he asked sarcastically, smiling in unison with me.

“He doesn’t know I’m your girl yet.” I whispered back as we kept going down the stairs. “You know, you’re pretty lucky you got me back when you did. Geno and I were getting pretty close.”

“You’re kidding me, right? You and Geno? Psh.” Sidney said, brushing it off like nothing. We kept walking and as we reached the bottom of the stairs he turned around to face me, eyes filled with what seemed to be deeply rooted disbelief. “You and Geno?” he asked again, “What happened while I was gone? Did you two….?”

“No! No no! Of course not! But there was this one time after practice….” I trailed off, causing his mouth to drop open. I leaned in and kissed him deeply for a minute before pulling away and leaning my forehead on his. “But trust me, my lips don’t still taste like Russian.”

Sidney’s eyes got wide and he shook his head, wiping his mouth like I’d just given him a disease. After a minute he smiled at me and picked me up off the stairs, sitting me down after giving me another kiss. “So what did happen between you two? Just curious.” Sid asked, leaning back against a wall and watching me.

“Well….” I said, thinking back to the third day after Sid and I had broken up.

~~Flashback~~

I sat down on the bench and quietly tried to fix my hair, attempting to hold in tears that were falling every time I heard someone say his name. It hurt like hell. It was a wound that wouldn’t heal and it sucked. And finally around ten minutes after I’d sat down a hand found mine.

“You are not well.” Geno said in broken English, rubbing his fingers over my hand gently in a sort of soothing way. He hopped the boards and sat down next to me, holding my hand the whole time. “You are not…. A well liar.”

“I’m just hurting, Geno.” I said finally after a moment, looking over into his concerned eyes. He smiled a crooked Russian smile and it almost made me feel a little better. For all his silence and broken English he was a really sweet kid.

“You are….. Ah…… very…….. Beautiful girl……. You will find……. Better person…” he tried, smiling at me, “I know you will be…….. Happy again.”

“I dunno, Geno. I just…. I really trusted Sidney. He was the best boyfriend I ever had…..” I trailed off, crying again.

“Sidney is….. Great person but…… he has problems….. Anger…… not best quality.” Geno gave it another attempt, trying very hard to make me feel better. His hand squeezed mine and he sat with me for a long time, just being there. Eventually his arm slid around me and I ended up crying on him for a while, ignoring the cold air.

“I just don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t even know which was is up.” I whispered, sitting up and watching him look thoughtful.

“That way.” he answered sort of jokingly, pointing towards the ceiling. I smiled and laughed with him, enjoying myself for the first time since a few days ago. Geno was a great person. He really was an all star on and off ice.

“Very funny little Russian.” I told him, tapping his nose with one finger. He smiled and went cross eyed for a minute, wrinkling his nose after I let my hand fall.

“I am…….. Very funny person……. Just no one understand….. What I saying most times.” Geno said, sighing, “But I am getting….. Better. English is…… hard language. It is not…… fun learning to speak.”

“No it’s not. But neither is Russian.” I said quietly, causing Geno’s eyes to light up.

“Russian? You know Russian?” he asked excitedly.

“Yep. I learned it right after I was fluent in French. It comes in handy sometimes.” I explained, “But I almost never used it. I kinda lost it. I have to start learning it again.”

“I teach you!” he offered happily, “If it make you happy I teach you.”

“Thanks, Geno. That’s really nice of you.” I said, smiling up at him. His face fell to a mask that seemed unreadable and I couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking.

“It is….. No fun…. Watching you……. Sad.” he said gently, “You deserve….. Happiness. You are……. Very amazing person….. Do not need any more stress.”

“You’re a sweetheart.” I told him, feeling a heart string somewhere inside me pulling taunt. Geno was really an amazing person.

“I just tell you what I been thinking.” he answered, looking over the ice.

“I’ve been thinking.” I corrected him, causing him to smile.

“I teach you Russian. You teach me English?” he asked, smiling at me.

“Deal.” I agreed, nodding gently. Our smiles faded as we realized just how close we were to each other. I could feel his warm breath on my face and it sent a chill up my spine.

“You are…….. Very……. Beautiful.” he whispered, staring into my eyes.

“Thanks.” I answered just as softly, feeling the same imaginary pull that Geno was obviously feeling. And as if by magnetism his lips touched mine gently, moving softly in accordance to mine. For all the times I’d seen Geno all over girls I’d always imagined him to me a messy kisser but he was perfectly gentle. It had been the girls, not him. Or maybe it was my imagination, I didn’t know. All I knew right now was that Geno Malkin was making out with me and I didn’t feel a thing, remorse or regret. It was sort of comforting. It didn’t mean anything to either of us, that much was fairly obvious but Geno kept it going on and on, never slowing down. His hands held mine easily and we had to have been there for at least half an hour before we finally stopped long enough to realize what we had been doing. Geno was the first to speak and I watched as his face turned a little pink.

“I am….. Sorry…. I don’t know…….. I couldn’t not do it.” he whispered.

“It’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I assured him, earning a thoughtful gaze from him.

“You are………. Good kisser.” he complimented, smiling at me.

“You’re not bad yourself.” I answered easily. He leaned his forehead on mine and kissed me again. There was no spark but it was nice. It was sort of comforting having Geno interested in me. It gave me hope that someone was out there for me. And he didn’t feel a thing either. No lust or love or anything, just a physical need for touch.

~~End Flashback~~

“….So yeah.” I finished, watching Sidney’s eyes looking at me as if he’d seen a ghost.

“I still can’t believe you actually did it.” he said jokingly, smiling at me.

“Did what?” I asked as if I hadn’t known a thing.

“Made out with Geno. You know I was just joking when I mentioned it on your birthday.” he said, taking my hand again, “But as long as you just make out with me from now on we’re fine.”

“Mmm… You have yourself a deal, Mr. Crosby.” I told him, letting him pull me closer and kiss me gently. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he let his arms fall around my waist, kissing me deeply, almost in a gratifying way. We must’ve been pretty oblivious because after around five minutes and the echoing sound of footsteps on the stairwell, wolf calls and whistles sounded from the top of the stairs that were next to us. Sidney pulled away and I nuzzled my face into his chest, glancing sideways to see Geno, Max and Marc standing at the top of the stairs.

“Hey guys.” Sidney called up to them. They came down to the landing where we were and ruffled Sidney’s hair, laughing the whole time.

“I told you, Sidney! I told you!” Max said as Sidney and I pulled apart and I took a step back so Max could punch Sidney in the arm. Geno gave me the puppy face as he was hugging me hello. He kissed both my cheeks and earned a careful glance from Sidney as he hugged me again.

“When I….. said that you….” Geno started in broken English. I shook my head lightly so that he would stop before I spoke. He had told me how he felt about me a few days ago and I’d told him that I was flattered but that I didn’t feel the same. He’d accepted it graciously for being best friends and we went about with our business. No one needed to know about that part.

“Never mind all of it, Geno.” I told him, earning a crooked smile. He let go of me and Marc hugged me next. I hadn’t been out of my room since we’d gotten here. No one had a chance to talk to me yet.

“See baby, everything turned out fine.” he told me, smiling as I nodded.

“Yeah yeah.” I said as Max kissed my cheeks and hugged me.

“Well it’s nice to see you two finally back on good terms. I was about ready to kill one of you.” Max joked as we started to walk out of the stairwell and into the lobby.

“Kill us? Why?” Sid asked, taking my hand firmly again.

“Because you two not talking and being on the same team makes the rest of our lives a living hell.” Marc answered, “I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to get you both to help me with my goaltending but I couldn’t because you two didn’t want to be on the same ice let alone telling me what to do together.”

“Sorry.” Sidney and I both said in unison. I smiled at him and the guys rolled their eyes.

“Then on second thought, you two being together is sort of worse.” Max said unhappily. We all got a good laugh as we headed out to the rink. We were all fairly quiet on the way there and we just enjoyed the serenity of all being in the same place with no tension.

Around an hour later, our group skated around ice with Riley, Colby and Jordan. We were all having fun on ice but we knew we needed to get off soon so that it could be cleaned for tomorrow’s morning skate and practices. As we jumped off Max Talbot had his ‘greatest’ idea ever.

“Truth or Dare!!” He screamed in reply to Jordan asking what we should do now.

“Oh come on! I’m the only girl here! This can’t end well for me!” I whined sarcastically, watching the evil grin on everyone else’s face; well everyone but Riley and Colby.

“We’re out.” Riley said, kissing my forehead and walking away.

“See ya sis.” Colby added, following him. I was now alone with Sid, Geno, Max and Jordan. Marc had left around an hour ago to rest up for the game. He thought he’d pulled something. God I hoped not.

“So everyone up for it?” Max asked excitedly as we sat down on the locker room floor in a circle as typically accustomed with truth or dare. We all nodded, me last, and the game began.

“Sidney, truth or dare?” Jordan started off. Sidney looked thoughtful for a minute and then answered.

“Truth.” he said easily, “I don’t trust you, Jordan.”

“What is the worst thing you’ve ever thought but not said about Max.” Jordan drilled giddily.

“Oh jeez.” Sid said, “Well, no offense, but the first time he ever said something against me I thought he was a self absorbed son of a bitch with no right to go against me. But then I realized he was right and I didn’t say anything.”

“Ouch, Crosby. That hurts.” Max said, hand over his heart.

“Alright, Maxime, truth or dare.” Sidney asked confidently, obviously thinking that he was going to one up Jordan.

“Dare.” Max said, “I’m feeling dangerous.” he finished, shooting a sideways glance at me. I laughed a little as Sidney shot him a glare.

“I dare you to kiss Jordan.” Sidney shot back easily, lacing his fingers with mine protectively.

“Oh my Lord.” Jordan said, backing away a little bit from Max.

“Just do it, Jordan.” Max said smoothly, glitter in his eyes. Max and Jordan touched lips for a minute and then they pulled away from each other, wiping their lips. I giggled a little uncontrollably and watched as they unhappily looked at one another, scheming.

“Bijou!” Max called out, “Truth or dare.” I thought quietly for a minute, glancing around at all of them. They couldn’t make me do too many horrible things. Sidney would kill them. It felt safe. And besides. I lived life on the edge most of the time. Why not take another risk?

“Dare.” I answered thoughtfully, letting go of Sidney’s hand in preparation for whatever was coming. I knew almost instantly that it was a mistake. The look in Jordan and Max’s eyes was unmistakable.

“I dare you to make out with Geno for thirty seconds right now.” Max said evilly, earning a disgruntled whining sigh from Sidney. Geno looked at me and we both laughed a little. We’d already been through this. Only Sidney knew, of course, but we were ready.

“Iar? Acesta este al meu lucky zi.” Geno said quietly through his accent. I nodded at him and mentally translated as everyone looked around in semi-curiosity. ‘Yes Geno, again. Today must be your lucky day.’ was the only thing that went through my head

“Well?” Jordan asked after a minute of silence with no movement. I broke the circle and moved towards Geno, sitting down right in front of him. We inched closer easily and I could feel the tension of everyone behind me wondering intently if we were going to go through with it. My lips touched Geno’s and he gently took control of the kiss, leading me easily as we both mentally counted. I could tell Geno was ticking down seconds as his finger tapped my hand every second. But after thirty he kept going for five more seconds. As we broke apart I raised an eyebrow at him, unseen by everyone else.

“Treizeci cinci is un lucky număr.” he told me, smiling. Lucky numbers. Psh. I kissed his cheek and pushed myself back to my place next to Sidney, who looked a little hurt. He took my hand immediately as Max and Jordan exchanged glances with each other and then with me.

“DAMNIT!” They said in unison.

“WE COULD’VE GOTTEN SO MUCH MORE OUT OF THAT!” Jordan said sarcastically, falling back down to the floor. I looked at Sidney and he let out a sigh, obviously reading my mind again. I broke the circle again and lingered over Jordan, who stared up at me lightly. I kissed his lips gently for a second before pulling away and turning to Max, repeating myself.

“There. Now you can’t say you were left out.” I said finally, sitting back down with Sidney. He kissed my head as his phone began to go off.

“Hello?” he asked as we stood up and began to walk out of the locker room. “Oh hey! How are you?”

“You are….. Unbelievable.” Geno complimented, smiling at me. I nodded and nudged him.

“You as well.” I answered, listening to Sid talking. His voice was soft and wonderful after days of not speaking with him.

“That’s not………… how is she…………. Where are you……… You’re here? Really? What hotel are you staying……….. Ours?………. Four eighteen? Got it. We’ll be back soon anyway………. Yeah yeah……….. Don’t tell……… alright. Bye.” Sidney said, hanging up the phone.

“Who was that?” I asked curiously, feeling his fingers tighten on mine.

“You remember Paul and Jess?” he questioned as we walked down the sidewalk towards our hotel. I nodded, remembering fondly the people we’d met on our way out of Mellon Arena.

“And Madeline! Yes.” I answered.

“They want to see us. I guess Madi isn’t exactly at her best.” he said gently, almost as if breaking shocking news. I took in a deep breath and felt a fierce pull at my heart strings.

“Madi? Who are you guys talking about?” Jordan asked curiously as we got to the block where our hotel was.

“Madi is a little girl Sid and I met on the way out of the Mellon. Paul and Jess are her parents. She’s in the worst shape and she’s only nine. We gave her my season tickets and I’ve been teaching her how to play hockey. She’s so cute.” I explained, looking over at a semi-confused looking Max and Jordan.

“What is… wrong?” Geno asked through his accent as we headed into our hotel.

“She’s got lung cancer and a bad heart. She had a transplant but the heart was rejected.” Sid said quietly, looking over to see Geno’s sad eyes.

“Wow. That sucks.” Max whispered sadly.

“Yeah. And she’s really been down about everything lately since we lost game five so I was going to go up to her room and say hello. She doesn’t know I’m coming.” Sidney said thoughtfully, “Well, that we’re coming.” he corrected, looking down at me. I smiled and kissed his cheek as we kept walking, heading for the stairs.

“Hey, can we come too, Sid? I’m sure we could do her some good.” Max said hopefully as we made it to the second floor and kept going.

“Max, she’s eight not eighteen.” I joked, watching him roll his eyes childishly.

“I know that but I like kids. I’m pretty good with them.” Max answered.

“And I want to meet her. She sounds pretty tough.” Jordan added. Geno nodded in accordance to his sentence as we made it up to the third floor and kept walking.

“I dunno if she’ll be up for it…. Paul said she was pretty down….” Sid said thoughtfully, obviously trying to decide.

“Awwww c’mon Siddy; let them come.” I whined, giving him the puppy face and pouting. He smiled at me and kissed my head as we got to the fourth floor.

“I guess so.” Sidney finally agreed.

“Yes!” Jordan, Max and Geno said in unison, cheering.

“So which room is she in?” I asked, letting go of Sidney’s hand and twirling around girlishly in the hall as we kept walking.

“Four eighteen.” he answered easily, “You’re sure feeling bubbly now.”

“We’re here to make people happy. No reason to be down on myself.” I said quietly as we got to the door. “Who’s knocking?”

“ME!” Jordan said excitedly, almost throwing himself at the door. Sidney stopped him with one arm and held him back.

“You can, sweetheart.” he said sweetly, smiling at me. I wrinkled my nose at him happily and knocked on the door with one hand, not knowing whether to feel excited or sad.

“Who’s there?” Paul’s voice came through the door sort of sadly. I immediately felt the morale of the hallway go down.

“Room service.” I answered easily, feeling Sidney’s fingers brush mine. The lock on the inside of the door turned and the door opened slowly to reveal a very down looking Paul. His eyes lit up at the sight of us and he graciously welcomed us in. We went into the hall of the suite and he stopped us.

“Oh it’s so nice to see you two again!” Paul said, throwing his arms around Sidney and I, “You have no idea how happy Madi’s going to be. She’s been so down lately…”

“Well we’re here to make her feel better.” Jordan piped up happily. Paul nodded and lead us away to a room which seemed to be the loudest in the hotel room. I could hear a rewind of our game and then an interview that I’d heard over a hundred times when Sidney and I were broken up. It was the interview that announced to the world that we were separated. Sidney and I stopped together to listen as everyone followed Paul into the room. And even over the sounds of Madi freaking out because she was meeting Max, Jordy and Geno, we could still hear it.

“And we’re sorry to report today that Sidney Crosby and Bernadette Armstrong have decided to part ways. They were seen not even making conversation as the exited the Mellon and got ready for their flight to Detroit. There are no reports on what exactly the separation came about because of but we’re sincerely sorry about their break up. It was a great match.”

Sidney’s fingers intertwined with mine gently and he held my hand with what seemed to be an eerie remorse. “I saw that interview and I almost came to see you on the plane.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. I was crying the whole way here.” I said under my breath as I looked over at him. He let out a laugh of what seemed to be held tension. He let go of my hand and walked up towards the room where everyone else had gone in and he entered to a round of happy squeals.

“SIDNEY!” Jess squeaked, “You came!” I saw her jump him with hugs and a kiss on the cheek followed by the laughter of Paul, Max, Jordy, Geno and a half-coughing Madi.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” Sid answered, hugging her back as she let go of him.

“Well we just thought that because of everything that was going on lately that you would…. Uhm……. Need some……….. Time to yourself.” Paul said, dancing around what he was thinking. I half smiled.

“I think the best thing for me right now is to be with the people I love.” Sidney said, having a hard time not telling them I was behind him. He walked in and after everyone calmed down I pushed the door open and peaked my head around. I saw Madi’s face light up as did Paul and Jess’ but everyone else just kind of sat around. Apparently now we were going to fake them out.

“Bernie! It’s wonderful to see you!” Jess said, hugging me. I smiled at her and stepped inside the room a few steps, looking a little coy.

“Bernie! How are you?” Madi asked, jumping up from where she was sitting in her pajamas and running over to me. She hugged me happily and looked back and forth between Sidney and I. We avoided each others’ gazes as best we could though looking to Jordan, Geno and Max was no help. They were having as hard a time as we were holding it together. And finally after some small talk Max stood up.

“Hey, we have to go get ready for tomorrow. It was nice meeting you all.” he said, shaking everyone’s hand and giving Madi a kiss on the cheek. Jordan and Geno followed suit and left, leaving Sidney and I the only ones with them. Madi sat down on the edge of her bed and I still avoided Sid’s gaze. Paul pause the tv in the middle of the interview, which had been playing on repeat over and over.

“You know, you two shouldn’t be fighting.” Madi said in a fragile voice, “You’re both blind.”

“What do you mean?” Sidney asked, voice sort of icy.

“You two are perfect for each other. You should be laughing and holding hands and kissing and being together. You’re both great people and you deserve to be with each other. I saw how much you loved each other. You’re not fooling anyone with this break up. You’re going to get back together. You’re going to kiss and make up and everything will be alright. You’re going to go through the motions and fall completely in love and maybe someday you’ll get married.” she explained. I felt myself become a little shocked at how smart she was even at this age. She was only eight and a half after all.

“She’s got a point.” Jess chimed in.

“Please don’t fight. You two don’t have to be together but at least be nice to each other. You were so in love.” Madi pleaded, getting up and pulling Sidney weakly off his chair. She led him over to me and put our right hands together, pressing Sidney’s to mine gently, “You can’t possibly say you don’t feel anything.”

I looked up at Sidney and met his eyes for the first time since we’d been in the room with Madi. They glittered with the sudden realization that we were both feeling. Madi was the most right out of all of this. And we both couldn’t help but feel that she would’ve told us this when we’d broken up. Madi let go of our hands and I stared up at Sidney, lost in the mesmerizing fog that he always cast over me. We must’ve stayed that way for a few minutes because Madi, who was watching our every move eagerly, giggled a little to herself in a girlish way. She must’ve seen the sparks flying. Sidney seized the moment and pushed his fingers through mine.

“She’s right, you know.” he whispered, kneeling down next to me, “Eh Dragonoste nu, ma fille douce.”

“I love you too, Siddy.” I answered easily as he touched noses with me. He gave me a short lingering kiss and I heard Madi squeal with glee. And all of the sudden she began coughing loudly and she fell back into the chair Sidney had been sitting in. Sidney and I let go of each other immediately and the trance was broken as we watched Paul and Jess get her up into bed and lay her down. She stopped after a few minutes and there was silence. She smiled halfway at us.

“I feel happier now. You two make me feel better…” she whispered timidly.

“I’m glad you feel better, Madi.” Sidney said softly, running a hand over her now bald head. Cancer was getting her pretty bad.

“She needs to rest now but we’ll be at the game tomorrow if you want to talk to us then.” Jess said, putting a blanket over her.

“That’d be great.” Sidney said, “In fact, I want all of you in the lounge after game.”

“Really?” Madi asked excitedly, sitting up and coughing again.

“Only if you take it easy and rest.” I told her. She laid back and nodded, coughing slowing.

“I just….. Want one more thing…… please.” Madi asked through coughs. We’d called her a few times between when we’d met and now and she’d never sounded this rough.

“Whatever you want. Anything.” Sidney and I both said in unison, blushing afterwards.

“Well……… I want you two together………” she started, coughing harder, “And I want a picture with you both…………..” she asked meekly.

“Of course!” Sidney said easily, whipping out his phone. He and I posed with her and she laughed as we both kissed her cheeks. Sid took the picture and as we looked at it Madi and I laughed. Sidney was red faced and he was so cute. I ran around the bed and jumped up into his arms, feeling them holding me up by my waist.

“You’re such a sweetie!” I said happily, kissing him eagerly. He laughed as he sat me down.

“I know, I know. I’m the sweetest cutest guy this side of Nova Scotia.” he said, voice full of self absorbed ego.

“I didn’t say that.” I said thoughtfully, popping his bubble. He pouted and Madi laughed.

“Name it after me.” Madi joked as we walked out. I laughed to myself as Sidney’s face went scarlet and Paul and Jess walked us out.

“Thank you two so much for coming. She’s so happy now.” Paul said thankfully, “How do we repay you?”

“Be in the lounge tomorrow post game.” Sidney answered easily, “That’s all I want.”

“And all I want to know is how she’s doing.” I said gently, being careful with the subject.

“Well the chemo’s working pretty well and her third heart is doing fine. The doctors are really hopeful.” Jess answered sort of dreamily, “The only real problem she’s had is that you two were unhappy.”

I glanced at Sidney and saw a small smile turning up on the corner of his lips. He laced his fingers with mine and kissed my head. “Well she won’t have to deal with that again for a very very long time.”

Jess smiled, “That’s wonderful. Thank you both. We’ll see you tomorrow then. How do we get to the lounge?”

“I’ll come get you.” I answered. They nodded and Paul opened the door for us.

“Well, Goodnight Sidney, Bernie.” Jess said graciously.

“Night.” We answered in unison. We left and the door closed and Sidney spun me around as if we were dancing in the hallway. Out of no where he dipped me down and kissed me more deeply than ever. He pulled away and stared into my eyes softly.

“Mmm…… What was that for?” I asked, entranced by his eyes.

“That was for being a jerk all that time…” he said before kissing me again, “That was for not calling….” again, “That was because I love you…” another kiss, “That was for the fact that we’re together again…” and another, “That was for everything you’ve ever done to help me when I didn’t know it,” he stood me up again and held my hands before kissing me a final loving time, “And that was in the hope that we’re together for a long time.”

“Aweh babe…” I whispered, swooned by his sweetness. He smiled and kissed me again.

“No. Don’t say anything. You deserve to have a great guy and I’m going to be that guy now. No more jackass moves that hurt you like that. No more stupid things. I’ll be the guy of your dreams.” he told me, looking deeply in my eyes.

“Sidney….” I trailed off, staring back into those beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

“Hmm?” he said, rubbing his fingers on the back of my hand.

“You don’t have to be the guy of my dreams.” I told him, smiling as he started to speak. I silenced him with a kiss and he stopped, raising an eyebrow. “You’re the only guy in my dreams.”

“That’s good to know.” he said, pulling me off towards the end of the hallway where our rooms were. “But see, there’s a problem with that ‘guy in your dreams‘ thing.”

“What’s that?” I asked as we neared my room.

“You won’t be sleeping much tonight.” he answered deviously, pushing open my hotel door and pulling me in.

And true to his word I didn’t get as much sleep that night as I would’ve liked. Surely if there would’ve been anyone sleeping in the room next to ours they wouldn’t have been sleeping any either. And the next day we stayed in my room for the better part of the day until we absolutely had to leave. Even then it was a scramble getting Sidney back in his room before anyone saw us.

We made it to the rink that night and we were both bundles of nerves. Sidney because it was his second spin around the Stanley cup final and me because it was my first. As we headed inside I was caught by a familiar voice.

“Bernie!” Madi said running up and jumping into my arms.

“Hey, Madi!” I answered happily, spinning her around. She was so cute. And she was steadily becoming like a part of my family. Sidney’s as well.

“How are you? Are you nervous? Can I help? Pleassee????” Madi said, rapid firing questions at me. I looked back at Sidney and he smiled.

“We always welcome new players to our bench.” he said, getting down on her level. She hugged us tight and giggled happily until she began to cough, at which point I picked her up and held her while she calmed down.

“You gotta stop doing that, Madi.” I told her as all three of us smiled.

“You two are great with kids.” Jess called over, waving as she approached. They were early, as were we.

“Nah. Just Madi.” Sidney said easily, brushing it off as they followed us hesitantly to the locker rooms.

“Are you sure we can be here?” Paul asked as we walked in.

“As long as you’re welcome with us you’re welcome here.” Sidney answered, sitting Madi down.

“Flower! Where are you!” I called out as I walked to the office that had been assigned as mine our first game here, Madi on my heals.

“I am right here, Bijou. No need to scream.” Marc answered through his accent.

“OHMYGOD! MARC-ANDRE FLEURY!” Madi squealed, running up to him, “YOU’RE AMAZING!”

“Well thank you….. Miss…” Marc trailed off, offering Madi his hand. She took it firmly, as she had done with Sidney’s and looked him in the eye.

“Madison.” she answered easily. He kissed her hand and smiled at her as she wrinkled her nose.

“Miss Madison.” Marc finished happily, looking up at me as Madi sat down on the swivel chair and spun, causing her Penguins bandana to fall off.

“Did you and Sidney have a love child a while ago that none of us knew about…?” Marc joked.

“No but their kid’s going to be named after me!” Madi chimed in.

“Feisty. I like that.” Marc said, high-fiving her as I put her bandana back on. She bounced out of the office when she heard Sidney and I pushed the door closed, turning to a worried looking Marc.

“Cancer?” he asked concernedly.

“Yeah.” I answered sadly, “She’s so sweet.”

“Yes. Well I’m ready for tonight and everyone’s coming in so I’ll see you out there, coach.” he said, kissing my cheek and leaving the office. True to his word everyone was coming in, much to the delight of Madi. Sidney introduced her but she ran off to me as soon as she saw me leave my office. She followed me to my coaches meeting and Dan took to her.

And as the game started I saw Paul and Jess take their places behind the glass right beside our bench. The guys were going out the runway and Sidney caught me up in a soft kiss but it wasn’t too passionate. Madi was there after all.

“Come on Madi. Co-captain!” I cheered as we went out to the bench.

And the game went on fairly well. Max scored once and we were in the lead. Madi was more excited than ever and everything was going according to plan. Marc was grand. I knew that because Jess was screaming it at the top of her lungs in French.

Suddenly my life was on hold. Sidney had been hit. He was coming towards the bench in agonizing pain. The game was still moving. Sidney was not. I ran back to the locker room before he made it with Madi at my heals but I sent her back to be with Dan. No reason for her to miss the game too. Sidney was there with me in a moment, limping and in excruciating pain.

“Oh my…… FUCK! It’s bad! Fuck Fuck Fuck!!” Sidney screamed, sitting down on a chair, “Oh fuck me!”

“That’s for later, babe.” I said, trying to lighten the mood as I shot painkillers into his knee. He laughed as he threw back some pain medication and we sat together for a few minutes. I caught him up in a kiss as he stood up and it motivated him enough to make the decision to go back to the bench.

Third period was there and it was going great. Sidney went out for a shift but gave up afterwards. He was too hurt. So he sat with Madi and I next to Mathieu and we cheered for our team. Max made another goal but so did Detroit. 2-1 in the third of game seven of the Stanley cup final rematch of the century. And the seconds went by like hours until finally the buzzer sounded. It was over. I jumped up with Sidney in unison, holding Madi above my head.

“WE WON! WE WON!!” I screamed over the crowd. Madi squealed with glee as I sat her down on ice and Mat, who instantly bonded with her, took her out to the celebration. I turned to Sidney and took his face in my hands, kissing him in happiness.

“The greatest day of my life!” Sid screamed, kissing me again. He jumped the bench and ran to the celebration while Madi ran back to me.

“This is amazing!” she screamed, tears streaming down her face. “I dreamed this would happen! I prayed for it!”

“It is amazing.” I said, picking her up and walking out on ice as the Stanley cup was being brought out. I watched Sidney take his turn with it and my spine tingled in happiness.

And nearly three hours later on the plane ride home my spine was still tingling. The guys were all taking turns in the bathroom shaving their beards and Sidney had just left. Jess and Paul had been invited by Mario to join us after meeting them in the lounge and they settled in near the front. Madi favored being back here with us. She was sitting in the seat across from mine, alone and fast asleep. I didn’t blame her. I was almost out myself. Cuddling up in Sidney’s hoodie with Mischa in the pocket made everything more comfortable.

“Baby girl…” Sidney whispered in my ear, “Wake up honey.”

“Hmm?” I asked, opening my eyes tiredly to see a freshly shaven Sidney standing beside me.

“I didn’t want to fall on you.” he said easily, sliding into his seat and taking my hand.

“Thanks.” I said, running a finger over his chin and frowning.

“What?” he asked, slouching down in his seat.

“I think I might miss the beard.” I answered, feeling Mischa stirring in my pocket.

“It had to go. It was driving me crazy.” he said, running a hand over his chin. I smiled and nodded, kissing him.

“Mmmmm…. I take that back.” I whispered as he kissed me again, smiling into my lips.

“You two are sweet.” Madi said softly through a tired voice and half closed eyes.

“You need your sleep, Mads.” I told her. She smiled and nodded, closing her eyes and turning over, going back to sleep.

“You’re great with her.” Sidney said, kissing my hand.

“She’s a great kid.” I answered, cuddling up as Mischa climbed into Sid’s lap.

“So what’s your opinion?” Sid asked, leaning his head on mine.

“Opinion on what?” I replied gently, closing my eyes.

“Kids.” he finished thoughtfully. I thought about freaking out but then I sighed it off and thought about it. I’d never really had a reason before.

“I love them. I don’t think I want one right this second but I want some eventually. I want to share my life with someone, you know? Be able to teach them and help them and make sure they do right.” I said truthfully. Sid kissed my head and I felt him nod.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll get you up when we get there.” he whispered. And it seemed like before he was done talking I was out cold. But three seconds later it seemed I was being woken up.

“Réveillez-vous, Bernadette. Mon chéri, wake up.” Sidney’s voice floating into my half hearted dreams. I was awake now but I kept my eyes closed, not having enough energy to open them. I felt Sidney’s lips on mine and it was enough to wake me up the rest of the way. He pulled back and I opened my eyes a little, still fairly tired.

“Mmm… hey..” I said tiredly, looking him in the eyes. He smiled that crooked smile and kissed me again.

“Hey. Time to go, Bernzie.” he told me, standing up. I stood up with him and gained a head rush as he handed me Mischa. I shook it off and let Sidney leave with the rest of the team as I got Madi up.

“Mads.” I said, shaking her lightly, “Maddddssss.”

“Huhh………what……….? I’m……..awa……” she said, clearly half asleep.

“We have to get off the plane, Madi. We’re back in Pittsburgh.” I said, shaking her a little more.

“Pittsburgh……….. Homee…” she said quietly trying to get up. She fell back into her chair and opened her eyes a little, looking up at me, “But I’m so tired……..”

“You want me to carry you?” I asked, raising an eyebrow as she thought about it for a minute. After a slow nod I picked her up and she wrapped her arms around me, head resting in the crook of my neck. I carried her out, knowing that the bags would all get back to us soon enough. I walked out of the plane and followed where the guys were headed in a parade with the cup. Paul and Jess met me in the airport gate with Sidney sitting tiredly next to them.

“Everyone’s going to Mario’s for a party. You want to go?” he asked quietly as he kissed my cheek.

“Yeah…. We just have to make sure Madi’s okay first.” I answered, handing her off to Jess.

“Why……. What’s wrong with her?” Paul asked, running his fingers through Madi’s hair. She didn’t even stir.

“She was too tired to stand up and she didn’t exactly sound like herself..” I trailed off as Jess nodded.

“It’s the treatment. It makes her tired and sick and sort of off balance.” Jess assured me, “She’ll be fine after some sleep. Thank you both so much for letting us be a part of this.”

“You’re welcome.” Sidney said quietly, “Thanks for letting us get to know you guys.”

“Of course.” Jess said as we all headed for the doors that lead out of the airport. Most of the guys had already left and the paparazzi, or the few that had gathered, were lazing about tiredly. “Oh! Madi’s birthday is in a few weeks. July thirteenth. Do you guys want to join us?”

“Yeah, definitely!” I said excitedly. Sidney nodded in agreement and they both smiled at us.

“She’ll be happy. Well we’re going to get her home. Goodnight, you two. Congratulations on the cup.” Paul said as they turned to walk away. They made it through the paparazzi unscathed and Sidney and I both sighed in collective relief. They hadn’t noticed us yet. They hadn’t noticed us together yet. That had been something we’d been keen on avoiding when we were broken up. I always left before or after Sidney. I was never seen going where he had been or was heading to and we hadn’t even spoken in the time we’d been apart. It seemed the best way to avoid fighting again and though it wasn’t planned by us it just panned out that way. But now we were together again. That would start a firestorm.

“C’mon, babe. We have to face the music eventually.” Sid said, taking my hand. I smiled. He was so calm.

“Yeah I guess.” I said, tugging the sleeves of Sidney’s hoodie down on my arms, making certain that Mischa was in my pocket as we walked towards the doors. We made it about halfway across the lobby before someone noticed us and even then I’m pretty sure they needed a double take to make certain of what they’d seen. Mischa climbed out of my pocket and over to Sidney, climbing into his jacket’s pocket and settling in. We pushed the doors open and I saw Dany Potash standing where I knew the other guys must’ve just been before heading to Mario’s.

“Hey Sidney I….” Dan stopped short as he looked me over and took in what he was seeing. He obviously lost his thought and smiled at us, relaxing a little bit. “It’s nice to see you two back to being nice to each other.”

“It’s nice to be nice to each other. What’s up, Dany?” Sid asked, squeezing my hand.

“The Pirates called and they want to know…” Dan started before I interrupted.

“They want to know if the cup can be brought to the stadium.” I finished. Sidney laughed.

“You know everything don’t you?” he asked sarcastically, kissing my head. I nodded and listened to Mischa purring as she popped her head out of Sidney’s pocket.

“That sounds fine. Just make sure it’s not the twentieth.” Sid said easily, “I’ll see you at the party, Dany.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you there, Sid.” Dan said, scurrying off towards a guy who was holding a camera. I knew they’d gotten pictures. I didn’t care.

“Twentieth?” I asked as we walked towards Sidney’s Range Rover.

“You don’t know what that is? It’s only your brother’s wedding day.” Sid said, rolling his eyes. It hit me then that I’d completely forgotten that Colby and Mellissa were getting married. It had completely gone out the window in the last few weeks. I’d been so busy and distracted.

“Oh my god! I forgot! I’ve got to make plans and get a dress and I need to….” I said jumpily, being silenced by Sidney’s finger on my lips.

“You have a reservation to stay with your parents along with Riley and Colby. Your dress is already there. Mischa is more than welcome to come. You can stay with me if you want. I have reservations to a hotel in Atlanta. Stop with the worrying.” he said as he pulled out his keys.

“You are amazing.” I said, mesmerized that he had made sure everything was in order even though we hadn’t been speaking.

“Yep. I try.” he commented, getting into the driver’s seat as I got into the passenger’s side.

“So, how do you think the party will be?” I asked, looking over at him.

“I dunno. I’m not going.” he answered, pulling out of the parking lot with a devious grin.

“Mmmm again? But yesterday…” I trailed off as he laughed.

“Not that! That’d be nice but I just want to sleep. I need a nice warm bed to fall down in.” he said, yawning, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so fucking happy we won the cup. It’s the best day of my life. I just don’t want to party.”

“I see. Well that’s fine. Are we just going to your house then?” I asked, petting Mischa as she jumped into my lap.

“Sure. That way I can sleep and you can party a little bit.” he said, turning off onto a road that lead to his and Mario’s house in Sewickly.

“Sounds nice.” I said as Mischa mewed loudly, “But I think Mischa’s coming with you. She’s tired and snippy.”

“That should be….. Interesting. That cat is completely crazy. She’s worse than your brothers.” Sid said sarcastically, revving the engine as he took off down the road that was a straight shot to Mario’s house. We pulled up and as the car stopped and the engine cut we both sat there in silence. The party inside was sort of quiet and it made us raise an eyebrow. Sid and I got out and walked up the drive, pushing the door open to find only Nat and the kids in the living room throwing a raving fit.

“OHMYGOD!” Nat screamed in unison with Stephanie as they bounced up and down on the couch. Lauren, Alexa and Austin were dancing in a circle, clearly all too oblivious to notice us.

“Wow. You guys are crazy.” Sidney finally said, arms around my waist, head resting on my shoulder. They all stopped and looked over at us, surprised that we were there.

“We’re not crazy. Your team is crazy. They took the cup downtown.” Alexa sassed, smiling at us.

“No partying for you then, bijou.” Sid said sadly, kissing my cheek, unseen by anyone else. I smiled and looked over at him.

“Ehh. That’s alright. I’d rather celebrate with my family………….” I trailed off in thought, “Speaking of which, do you guys maybe want to come to my house? I’m sure my family’s throwing a crazy party.”

“Sweet! Mom can we!?” Austin said, jumping up and down like a little kid.

“I dunno…. Your father wouldn’t be too happy.” Nat said thoughtfully, looking a little lost in decision.

“Dad’s downtown having a party with the Pens and the Stanley cup. I doubt he’ll care too much that we’re with Sidney’s……..” Lauren trailed off, unsure of whether we were back together or not.

“Girlfriend.” Sidney corrected her, wrapping his arms tighter around me. I heard Austin let out a sudden defeated sigh and I couldn’t help but giggle. Sid let go of me and walked over to him, ruffling his hair. “Cheer up, dude. You’ll find a girl someday.”

“Psh.” Austin said, turning away as I walked into the living room with them and stood with Lauren. She nearly jumped me.

“YES!” she squealed happily.

“What?” I asked, dazed and slightly confused by her antics, “I didn’t know silence was a yes or no question.”

“No! It’s not, I’m just happy your back!” she said excitedly, “I missed you!”

“I missed you too, Renren.” I answered back, hugging her. Everyone else really didn’t know what to do since Lauren and I had been best friends since a little after I’d met Sidney and the kids. Stephie and Alexa were on me next with hugs and kisses and finally Austin stared me down. “Well I missed you anyway, Austy.”

“I guess I missed you too.” he answered, looking at me sort of halfheartedly. I smiled and kissed his cheek happily, turning my attention away from his pink face and towards Nat. She smiled and hugged me tightly, letting go and turning towards Sidney.

“Now Sidney Patrick Crosby if you mess this up again I’ll beat you over the head with a frying pan. Got me?” she scorned shaking her finger in Sidney’s face. He nodded and then she was all smiles, “She’s too good for you to be passing up.”

“Okay, Okay I get it. I screwed up. I won’t do it again. Now can we all just mobilize and go to her house?” he asked, feeling a little taken aback.

“Yes!” Stephie and Lauren screamed.

“Can we Mom?” Austin begged with a fresh pleading look on his fretful face.

“Pleaaaseeee?” Alexa added to the pleading.

“Yeah, Nat, can we please?” I begged, pouting. I watched Sidney squirm in front of me and I smiled a little at him as Nathalie made her decision. With a nod of her head everyone was in motion.

“Can we stay over?” Lauren called from her room.

“Definitely!” I answered back, “As long as that’s alright with you, Nat” I said, coming to the sudden realization that the decision wasn’t up to me.

“It’s fine. It’s been a long time since we’ve all been away from home. It’ll be refreshing.” Nat said happily.

“YES!” Austin screamed, pumping his fists in happiness.

“Don’t get any ideas buddy. You’re sleeping in the guest room with my brothers. The girls can room in the basement. You can have the bed down there if you want it, Nat.” I said, feeling Sidney behind me. He laced his fingers with mine and whispered in my ear huskily, voice sending shivers up and down my spine like firecrackers. I’d missed him so much.

“Where do I get to sleep, baby?” he asked, kissing neck and sucking on my sweet spot. It made me weak in the knees.

“Keep talking like that and we might have to sneak out tonight.” I said, kissing him. “You get to sleep with me as long as my brothers don’t have a fit.”

“Lucky me.” he said roughly, kissing me as deeply as he had in the hallway outside Madi’s hotel room. “You know, you’re more than my girlfriend. You’re my best friend.”

“You’re sweet.” I said gently, leaning my forehead on his and staring into his eyes for a minute, static filling us both up. I heard girlish giggled behind me but I didn’t turn, instead turning my attention to the fact that Mischa had escaped Sidney’s pocket and was scaling his shirt. He hadn’t noticed the girls at all as they were silenced as he looked around trying to see what the noise was. We laughed together, ignoring everyone else and just living in that single moment.

“God Mischa, you know how to ruin a moment.” Sidney said, picking Mischa up off his shirt and holding her up to his face. I watched as she leaned down, squirming in his hand, and licked his nose, mewing like crazy. She was now almost a month old and as wily as ever. She mewed one more time before rubbing her face against his hand and laying her head down on her white paws, staring at him with those big blue eyes. He made a face that screamed everything he was thinking and just when I thought he wouldn’t say it he did. “You are so cuteee.” he said, putting her in his pocket again.

“Oh no. My boyfriend’s having an affair with my cat!” I said, hand on my cheeks in fake shock. He laughed with me and smiled a warm crooked smile.

“No no, bijou. I would never cheat on you. You’re too good to me for that.” he told me, kissing me lightly and smiling into my lips. He pulled away and I smiled.

“Nice to know that, Squidney.” I said quietly so that only he could hear me. It was only then that the voices and giggles behind us became evident and Sidney gave a wily look, staring over my head towards the kitchen.

“Come out. I can hear you.” Sid said, glancing back down at me. I heard the rustling of footsteps coming out from behind the kitchen’s bar and knew that at least half of the kids had been back there, if not all four of them. Sidney moved quickly, much like a sniper of sorts, and kissed me deeply, holding me into him as he made me almost collapse from the weak feeling in my knees. Backing off he pulled away and looked over to who I now knew to be Stephie and Lauren from their giggles of glee. “If that’s what you were waiting to see, you’ve seen. Go pack.”

“Kay!” they said in a chorus of bubbly voices. I smiled up at Sidney and he smiled back, touching noses with me.

“Love you babe.” he whispered softly. I watched his eyes soften and he caught me in the same haze he had yesterday. For a second I thought I’d seen my future and my past, my wants and needs, hopes and dreams; all there inside those deep chocolate brown eyes.

“Love you too.” I answered, my own voice as soft as his had been. He smiled and kissed my lips again, snapping the hold he’d had on me as he backed away easily and walked towards his part of the house. He had to get a change of clothes too, I suppose. I sat down quietly on the couch and sunk back into it, staring up at the ceiling. It all kind of felt like a dream.

And in the middle of this dream Nathalie sat down beside me, staring over at my haze for a few minutes before speaking. “You really make him happy, you know.”

“Huh?” I said, pulling myself out of the fog that had fallen over me. “Oh, yeah. I guess I do.”

“I’m really happy you’re back. He was pretty messed up there for a while.” Nat said thoughtfully, leaning back on the couch like I was.

“I heard.” I said more bitterly than I intended to. It was still hard forgiving him even if I did love him with my whole heart. Nat caught it in my voice and put a hand on mine.

“He’s crazy for you. I don’t think I’ve heard him stop talking about you since you started dating. He reminds me a lot of Mario when we were young…” she trailed off deep in her own thoughts and reminiscing in her memories, “He really would do anything for you. You’re good for him. You keep his head on straight. He needs you.”

“I know…..” I said thoughtfully, contemplating what she’d said. We sat there for a moment more in the quiet of the living room before all the kids and Sidney bound out with overnight bags.

“Ready when you are.” Alexa said happily, flipping out her phone and texting someone eagerly.

“Alright, who’s going with me?” Sidney asked, pulling out his car keys as Mischa climbed out of his pocket. I got up from my place with Nat and took the kitten in my hands, watching Sidney fight the urge to smile.

“ME!” Steph, Austin, Lauren and Alexa screamed in unison.

“Rock paper scissors for who can’t go.” Sid said, walking towards the door with me on his heels. I heard the murmur of rock paper scissors in the background and a let down sigh from Austin.

“I always lose.” He said to Nat as the girls followed us outside to Sid’s Range Rover.

“Oh, lucky lucky me. I get to escort four of the nicest girls in Pittsburgh to a party.” Sidney said as he hopped into the driver’s side.

“More like three of the nicest girls and the crazy girl and her psyco cat.” I said, getting into the passanger’s side. The girls climbed into the back and once the doors were shut Sid pulled out with Nat behind him, turning and speeding down the desolate streets towards my house. We made it there, giggling and laughing at jokes that were bouncing back and forth between Sidney and I.

“You two are horrible to each other!” Alexa said through harsh laughter. I heard Lauren snort and I laughed harder.

“Nah. This is the crazy thing we like to call love. It involves some abuse.” Sid joked, causing us all to giggled again as we pulled into my driveway. I could hear my brother’s inside partying.

“Oh god. Is that who I think it is?” Lauren asked, straightening up her hair suddenly. Sidney rolled his eyes at her and wrinkled his nose, looking over at me.

“Oh yes, that’s Colby and Riley.” I said, “I’d know that shrieking anywhere.”

“C’mon!” Stephie said excitedly, “Before the party’s over!”

“Yes!” Alexa added, jumping out of the car with Lauren right behind her. Sid and I sat there for a minute as they ran towards the front door and out of no where we burst into laughter.

“They’re so crazy!” I said through a giggle as we opened our doors.

“They’re great.” he replied, shutting his door and following me up the drive to my open door as the doors of Nat’s car slammed shut and Austin bolted past us.

“Party!” Colby screamed, jumping up and down on my couch but falling to the floor as I walked in. “Sis!” he squeaked. I gave him a stern look for a minute before sitting the cat in Sidney’s hand and making a jumping leap onto my loveseat, jumping as high as he had and laughing heartily at the same time.

“What? No more partying?” I said, falling down onto the loveseat with a thud. “That’s a let down.”

“Congrats, honey.” Mom called from the kitchen while Dad took the high road and attacked me, squeezing me nearly as hard as he had when he’d showed up for Christmas.

“You won!” he said happily, “Can’t believe it!”

“Thanks Dad…… but… you’re…. crushing me.” I said through a breathless feeling that was overwhelming me. Colby and Riley were on me next giving me hugs as Nat caught up with my parents. The kids ran back out and were checking out my house; well, all except Lauren, who wasn’t exactly sure what to make of it all. Either that or she was too distracted by Colby to notice.

Either way the party went wonderfully and everyone passed out around six in the morning. Everyone except me. I stayed up and watched Sidney sleeping for a while. He’d just won the most important contest of his life and here he was sleeping in my bed without a care in the world. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to sleep correctly if I went to bed now. All nighter for me.

And just like that everything was flying. We had the parade in Pittsburgh to celebrate the cup but I had to bail out, being needed by the Pirates. June eighteenth came and went and we traveled to Las Vegas for the NHL awards. Sid didn’t win anything but that was alright. Geno had and that made my day. His girlfriend, Oksana, had come along and I found her company a little unsettling though she was quite the nice girl. I just didn’t get that good vibe from her.

We made the trek then to Atlanta for Colby’s wedding and everything seemed to be in full swing. And as the day finally came I found Colby a bundle of nerves in his room. I sat down in my plum bridesmaid’s dress beside him and took his shaking hand.

“I’m so nervous, Bernie.” he said, smiling at me, “She’s so beautiful and I love her so much.”

“That’s all the more reason to go through with this.” I told him, holding his hand tightly, “You and Melissa are perfect for each other. Ask anyone and they’ll tell you, Colbs. You’re gonna make a great couple.”

“I trust you on that one, sis. Come on….” he said, swallowing hard what I knew had to be the feeling of a cotton filled mouth. “We’re gonna be late.”

And from that point on he seemed confident enough. We made it to the church alright and as the procession began I felt myself tear up a little. My brother was getting married. Much as I tried to hide it, I was overwhelmingly happy. Melissa was a great girl and they’d been together for so long. I already considered her family, as did my parents and Riley. I found my place next to Melissa and as she walked down the isle I found the eyes of Sidney to calm myself down. He was in the front row with mine and Melissa’s parents. He smiled lightly at me and I felt myself taking deeper breaths and trying to enjoy the moment.

The wedding was over before I even knew what happened and we had a huge party afterwards which ended, inevitably, with Sidney and I both drunk in a hotel room. That only meant another crazy night with no sleep. July second was upon us in nothing flat and I got an excited call from Riley telling me that he’d been signed with Calgary. We had a raving party over the phone as we three wayed Colby.

And like nothing after that it was the night before Madi’s party. I was in my room making her present with my ipod turned up super loud. I’d been painting a picture all day long. It was a picture of a semi-transparent Stanley cup in front of the sun setting behind Mellon Arena. The Pens logo was at all four corners and I’d already signed my name at the bottom but there were final touches to be made. I hadn’t been paying any attention and I was singing to myself, as I mostly did when I was alone and painting.

“My best friend gave me the best advice! He said each day’s a gift and not a given right. Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind. And try to take the path less traveled by. That first step you take is the longest stride.” I sang lightly, listening to the flow of the chorus as I continued to paint each stroke with ever persistent care. “Against the grain should be a way of life. What’s worth the price is always worth the fight. Every second counts ‘cause there’s no second try. So live like you’re never living twice. Don’t take the free ride in your own life.” I sang before the chorus took hold again.

I watched hesitantly as I continued to paint, mixing a few more colors and adding some more depth. Madi and I had become pretty close over the last few months and I wanted this to be perfect. “If today was your last day. Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart? You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars. Regardless of who you are. So do whatever it takes. ‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life. Let nothing stand in your way. ‘Cause the hands of time are never on your side.” I sang happily, enjoying my song as I put the final stroke on my painting. I took a step back and jumped three feet, pulling one headphone out of my ear as someone’s hands caught my waist.

“You are a wonderful singer.” Sidney’s velvety voice calmed my every tense nerve in my body.

“Sidney, baby, you can’t sneak up on me like that.” I said as the intense pounding of my heart through my chest began to quiet. I heard him laugh as I turned around in his arms.

“But if I don’t sneak up on you then I don’t get to hear that beautiful voice of yours.” he whispered, kissing my lips lightly for a loving minute.

“You should’ve just asked.” I told him, putting down my paintbrush and taking off my paint splattered apron. I turned back around to see Sidney admiring my work.

“This is amazing. You never told me you painted.” he said, looking at the painting from all different angles with the same blown away look on his face.

“I used to paint and draw pictures all the time. I used to be really good but now I have no time. I’m always everywhere doing something for the Pirates or the Pens or visiting someone. I never get the time I need anymore.” I said, taking a seat on my bed. Sidney looked over at me sadly and took a seat beside me.

“You should make time to do something you love.” he said firmly, patting my hand as he looked back at the painting, “You’re too good at it to give up on it.”

“Yeah I probably should.” I said as I ran my hands over the silk of my pajamas.

“And I’m gonna make sure you do. Even when we go to LA. I’ll give you whatever time you need and bring all the supplies you want.” his voice was approving and he smiled widely

“Thanks, babe.” I said happily, kissing his cheek and leaning over on his shoulder. “Oh, hey. I still have those Angels tickets. Want to go along with me? I get to throw out the first pitch.”

“Yeah, girly, I’ve been looking forward to it! When’s the game?” he asked, looking over at me curiously before he kissed my head. We’d really been loving every single second we’d had together in the last few months. Everyone had gone home a few days after our party and we’d been alternating houses but we’d been together every night since we’d made up.

“Twenty second.” I answered absentmindedly, enjoying the feeling of having him back again. He’d been out all day with the guys and as much as I liked having space it was nice to have him next to me again. He chuckled a little and I could almost hear the devious smile crossing his face. “What’re you laughing about?”

“That’s our seven month.” he whispered, sitting his hand on my knee, “Best seven months of my life.”

“That’s just the hormones talking.” I told him, laying back in bed with him falling down beside me. “But it’s been great having you around, Siddy.”

“Ditto.” he answered. But all of the sudden I found myself waking up the next morning in Sidney’s arms, still laying on the edge of the bed. We must’ve fallen asleep somewhere in the conversation.

“Sid. Sidneyy. Baby boy, wake up.” I said, looking at the clock and seeing that it read 11:45 in bright red numbers.

“Hmm? What, honey…..? I’m sleeping……” he whined childishly, rolling over onto the spot where I’d been. He immediately looked up at me with pleading eyes that asked me to come back to bed.

“It’s the thirteenth. It’s almost lunchtime. We’re gonna be late for Madi’s party.” I explained, pulling him up so he was sitting on the bed. He looked at me with the same pleading look, pushing out his lower lip and almost begging for me to just let him sleep. I kissed him with an electricity that I always felt when he was there and it seemed to wake him up.

“But babyyyyy.” he whined as I pulled away. He took my hands and pulled me back, sitting me down on his lap, “I want to sleeeeep.”

“You need to wake up, Sid. We have to go.” I told him, offering him one more kiss before walking into the bathroom to get dressed. I heard him whine and fall back in bed and smiled. He might’ve been a phenomenon to everyone outside of his inner circle but to me he was just a big kid. He didn’t like getting up early and he didn’t like being told what to do and all he wanted to do with the rest of his life was be happy.

I changed into my acid wash jeans and Ramones tank top before I began putting my make up on. I heard heavy footsteps coming towards the bathroom and Sidney showed up in the doorway, eyelids drooping down. I looked over at him and he laughed, wiping eyeliner off my cheek.

“You don’t need that crap all over your face.” he told me, walking through the bathroom and out the connecting door that lead into the hall. I laughed as I heard him trip and fall.

“You alright?” I called out to him as I finished with my makeup and brushed out my hair.

“I’m good!” he answered in a high pitched excitable voice. It sort of reminded me of myself when I was a little girl yelling at my brothers to leave me alone so I could talk on the phone. I brushed my teeth and headed out of the bathroom into the kitchen where I found Sidney slumped over in a chair with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.

“You know that’s not going to help you if you don’t drink it, right?” I asked, walking around the counter and pulling a bottle of ice tea out of the fridge. I took a drink of it and listened to Sidney laughing a little as he sipped his coffee, clearly more awake now than he had been a few minutes ago in my room.

“Yeah yeah I know.” he said in a feisty way. I smiled at him and finished drinking my tea. He was already changed and ready to leave, if not just a little bit tired. “So when are we suppose to be there?”

I glanced at the clock and it now read 12:30. I made a disgruntled sort of sigh and leaned over on the counter. “Actually we were suppose to be there about twenty minutes ago.”

“Oh.” Sid said, standing up and stretching, “I’m ready when you are.”

“I just have go to get Madi’s present. I’ll meet you in the car.” I told him easily. We parted ways as I retrieved the barely dry painting and came back through the hall. Mischa jumped up onto the counter and looked at me. She’d been asleep up until now. “I’m coming back, Mischa. Just don’t get crazy.” She mewed at me as I walked out through the house. I got to the porch and my phone rang but I thought nothing much of it. I locked up and we headed for Madi’s house.

We got there in around five minutes and walked up the drive hand in hand, listening to the dull roar coming from the backyard of the small house. Sid knocked and Jess answered the door in a bubbly way.

“Sid! Bernie! Nice to see you!” she said happily, “Come in come in! The kids are out back with Paul. How are you?”

“We’re good.” Sid said with equal tones of happiness in his voice, “How are you?”

“We’re wonderful! Madi was given a clean bill of health last week. Her cancer’s in remission and her heart is working perfectly!” Jess said with a hint of glee in her voice.

“That’s wonderful!” I exclaimed, completely relieved as we followed her through the house towards the back yard where I could see a few people that must’ve been family and a few kids that were running with Madi; all of whom were wearing bandanas. I assumed they were friends she’d met when in the hospital. Jess pushed open the glass door and Sid and I stepped through the thresh hold to the screams of all the little kids. Madi stopped and laughed, pointing one finger back at us as she addressed the small crowd of kids.

“See! I told you!” she jabbed, smiling at them. She took off in a fast run and attacked Sidney and I. We hugged her tightly, and as we let go she kissed us both on the cheek. “Hi!”

“Hi, Mads.” I said happily, as she pushed our hands back together. We’d let go of each other after she’d bolted at us.

“You’re together?” she asked, raising a wily eyebrow at us. We nodded and she smiled wider. I took notice that she was now missing one tooth. I laughed and sat down on the steps that lead into the yard.

“Missing something?” I asked, pointing at her mouth. She stuck her tongue through the hole and giggled, nodding.

“I think that’s a good look on you. Makes you look sophisticated.” Sidney said thoughtfully, taking a seat next to me. She turned a little red and turned her attention away from him, instead focusing on the wrapped painting I was holding.

“Wassat?!” she asked quickly, smiling wider.

“It’s your present. Happy birthday, Madi.” I told her, handing her the package. She jumped up giddily and turned towards Jess and Paul.

“Can I open it! Please?!” she squealed with glee. Jess smiled at her and nodded her head lightly, watching as Madi completely destroyed the paper wrapping in an attempt to open the package. Her friends gathered around and as the wrapping paper fell to the ground I heard a sharp intake of breaths from them and the few adults that had gathered around to watch.

“That’s amazing. It must’ve cost a fortune.” One of them commented.

“What’s that name at the bottom, Doreen?” another asked a woman who was standing closer to the painting.

“Bernie Rae, I think it says.” she answered.

“Never heard of them.” the man commented.

“You did this?” Jess asked, turning all their attention to me. I nodded meekly and Sidney nudged me.

“She’s modest. She painted it last night. I watched her put the final touches on it.” he commented. Everyone was in awe. Madi ran up to me after handing the painting off so her friends could look at it and jumped up into my arms.

“That’s the bestest present I’ve ever gotten!” she squealed, “I’m going to hang it up in my room so I can look at it every day.”

“Awe, thanks Madi. I’m glad you like it.” I answered. And from that point on I spent the rest of the day sharing art conversations with Madi’s aunt Margo, who was a curator at an art museum. We enjoyed the sun and the kids and Sidney organized a small game of broom hockey near the garage. Everyone beat him easily and we laughed and had a great time.

Towards the end of the night when we had to leave to pack for our flight to LA Madi addressed us when her Mom asked if anyone had a toast. I was just surprised she even knew what that was. She was extraordinarily smart for someone her age.

“To the hope that everyone here remains as they are and can be happy forever and ever and ever.” Madi said happily, raising her glass of Pepsi high in the air.

“To that!” Margo said happily, a murmur of agreement from the rest of the crowd. We drank our soda and as we were leaving the house Madi attacked us again.

“When are you coming back to the burgh?” she asked, hugging me.

“We’ll be back around the twenty fourth.” I answered, “Give or take. Why?”

“My friends and I were going to go to a hockey tournament. I wanted you to be there.” she answered coyly, looking up at me.

“We’ll try. Call us.” I told her thoughtfully. She nodded and hugged Sidney one more time before leaving to head back to the party.

“Ready for LA, baby girl?” Sid asked as we climbed back into my Lambo. A creeping smile came onto my face and he raised an eyebrow.

“The real question here, Sidney is whether or not LA is ready for us.” I answered with a joking smile. He laughed and we rode home in relative silence. We’d reached a point where we didn’t have to be talking all the time to enjoy each other’s company. It was sort of nice.

Sid waited until I’d packed all my stuff and gotten Mischa ready to go before we headed off to his house to pack his stuff. We were ready to leave around seven that night but our flight to LA wasn’t until nine so we had some time to kill. Us being the nerds we were gathered up our video games and played Castlevania for a while followed by Zelda and Guitar Hero. And finally around eight ten we left the Lemieux’s to the sound of everyone saying goodbye and offering us hugs and kisses.

We made it through security and made it to our plane in time and then followed the most boring plane ride ever. I’d hidden Mischa in my purse and no one had searched it so she was home free. I told her to be quiet and she seemed to understand. Often throughout the ride there I fed her kitty treats and gave her water out of the cap of my water. Eventually I fell asleep on Sidney’s shoulder and he didn’t seem to take it too badly as I woke up just before our plane landed. I had to wake Sidney up as we began to ascend because he’d fallen asleep with his fingers laced in mine.

We stayed up as long as we could that night, which on the west coast was around 10. We fell asleep in our hotel room easily and woke up the next day in a tangled mass of sheets and pillows. Sid kissed me deeply and we got up to enjoy a day on the beach. We headed out to the beach that day and tired ourselves out pretty quickly. Sid took me to dinner at a nice little seafood place and we were left alone most of the time with only a few brave hockey fans approaching us with a comment or request.

The day after that we headed to the beach before we knew we’d need to go to the ESPY’s. We threw out our towels and put up an umbrella, enjoying being together in the sun with the sand and the ocean. I went out to chill in the surf for a while and Sid stayed with our stuff, watching Mischa with a close eye. I came back and found Mischa curled up on my chair and we laughed together as she protested me moving her.

“Love that cat.” I said, glancing over at her as she fixed her fur where I’d messed it up.

“Mmmhmmm.” Sid agreed, nodding his head childishly. I smiled and put one leg down on his chair between his knees, leaning down and kissing him. He grinned into my lips and kissed me deeply for a minute or two before I pulled away. “What was that for?”

“Just cause I can.” I answered simply. He smiled.

“Well if that’s what I get for no reason then I can’t imagine what I’ll get for something important.” he joked, pushing down his sunglasses again to look me in the eyes. I laughed and sat back in his lap enjoying the sun. His arms wrapped themselves around me and he kissed my shoulder, chuckling to himself as he saw something he found amusing.

“What?” I asked curiously, eyes close and still liking the moment. I knew we’d have to leave for the hotel soon to get ready for the awards.

“Paparazzi. Always in for getting me on camera no matter where I am.” he elaborated, kissing my shoulder again lightly, “But at least they caught me with my better half.”

“You’re a sweetie.” I told him quietly, feeling his arms tightening around me. We sat there for a little while longer before we left and went back to the hotel, dressing for success. Sidney had put on his black suit and blue silk tie and I had recalled the black dress Sidney had bought me for my birthday.

“Mmmm baby girl……” he said as he walked into the bathroom where I was fixing my makeup, “That dress makes you look hot.”

“Thanks.” I answered simply finishing up with my eyeliner a Sidney pulled out his hair gel. “Aww honey… I don’t know why you have to do that to your hair. It looks better this way.” I told him, running my fingers through the beautiful fluffy brown curls on his head. He smiled and sat down his hair gel, picking me up and sitting me down on the counter top so we were eye level.

“Well I think you look better without make up but we all have to compromise.” he told me, staring into my eyes as he touched noses with me. I giggled a little and he snuck me a kiss before walking back to his place and putting on his hair gel.

In no time at all we were at the ESPY’s, sitting with Dany and Ovie. And as they went down through the awards I laughed and giggled at some of the jokes that went on and had a few somber moments as we honored the coaches and friends that had been lost in the last year. Finally as we were reaching the end they got to the ESPY I wanted to know about.

“Tonight, the nominees for best NHL player are…” and then a montage of video streams of Sidney, Alex, Pavel Datsyuk and Geno. I held Sidney’s hand and I could feel him shaking with anticipation.

“And the winner of the best NHL player of 2009 is…” they trailed off for a minute. Sidney squeezed my hand and I kissed his knuckles, calming him down. “Sidney Crosby of the Stanley Cup winning Pittsburgh Penguins!”

“Yes!” Sidney said happily to himself, kissing me once as he got up and shook hands with Ovie and Dan. I watched him go to the podium and accept his award, going off stage with the award givers. I sat with Ovie as I waited for Sid to come back and he put his hand on mine, smiling.

“You and Sidney are getting very close, fata.” he whispered to me as the show took a break for a while so that there would be room in the taping for commercials.

“Yeah. He’s a sweetheart. I love that boy.” I told him, causing his smile to almost break his face wide open.

“You two are very good for each other. But don’t forget about me!” he said jokingly, making me smile. I ruffled his hair a little and we laughed together.

“I wouldn’t ever, Ovie. I lovers you too, my lovely little Russian.” I told him firmly as I felt someone sitting down beside me.

“Cheating on me with Ovie, I see.” Sidney joked, taking my hand. I smiled and Ovie rolled his eyes as I kissed Sid.

“Nope. Ovie’s a bestest buddy though.” I told Sid, laughing as Ovie shook his head widely, mussing up his hair. I fixed it quickly and Dany laughed.

“I can see the paper’s now, Obama’s health plan and Armstrong’s men.” he joked, watching us. I giggled a little as Sidney and Ovie exchanged glances. They’d never been on equal terms but they were coming together and attempting to get along for my sake anyway. Geno and Alex had already made up so that was one half of the battle won. All that needed to happen now was for Alex and Sid to make some sort of amens and for Sidney to get over his little secret quarrel with Max. But I couldn’t make them do anything, of course, just hope and pray for the best.

Sid and Alex struck up a conversation after a while and I switched seats with Sid so they could continue to talk as the break went on. I sat quietly with Dany, running my fingers over the locket I hadn’t taken off since Christmas, not even for a moment when we’d been broken up. And it seemed like just sitting there listening to the hush whispers and laughter exchanged between Alex and Sidney I lost track of time. Suddenly the ESPYs were over and we were walking out with Alex and Dany, all heading for the doors to go our separate ways.

We got outside and Dany said goodbye to me, kissing my cheek and squeezing me tight before shaking hands with Ovie and Sid and leaving. Ovie looked a little down about having to stop talking to Sidney and they shook hands, exchanging a manly side hug before Alex set his sights to me.

“I’ve missed you much, fata! You have to come visit me in DC more. Team misses you very much. Nikky and I promise to call you a lot more. Text me, feme fatal!” he joked, hugging me tightly to him for a minute as we laughed at the nickname I’d acquired while in DC.

“I promise I will.” I told him, smiling as he let me go and held my shoulders so he could look at me.

“I love you, fata!” he said easily. I nodded gently and returned his smile.

“I love you too! Now go home before Bakky wonders where you are and has a Swedish fit.” I told him, wagging my finger in his face. We laughed again and he headed off, leaving me alone with Sidney.

“You love him, huh?” Sid asked, raising an eyebrow.

“He took care of me for a while when I was down. We’re pretty close.” I answered simply, listening to the clicking of my heels on the pavement as we walked towards our rental car. “Worried?”

“Not really. But I dunno. When you look this hot I think I should be on the defensive at all times.” he said, voice low and husky in his throat. I knew the sound of his hormones raging when I heard them.

“Well at least tell me you can wait until we get to the hotel.” I told him jokingly as we got into the car.

“I dunno…….” he trailed off, looking away. I smiled as a wide devious grin cracked on his face and he nodded. “I’m not a monster.”

“Alright. At least I know what’s coming. But don’t tire yourself out, we’ve got six days until the game.” I told him, smiling wider than he was as he erupted with laughter and drove towards the hotel.

“Babe, I love you.” he whispered happily.

“Yep. I know.” I answered, taking his hand as he offered it.

And true to his implications we didn’t really leave the hotel room much the next few days. The occasional trip to a shop for some beastly clothes or the trip to dinner made things a little more interesting. We took a few more trips to the beach and eventually got our hands on a copy of the newspaper who had gotten our picture from a few days before hand. I’d been looking on a networking site for hockey fans and seen it earlier that week so I knew it was coming.

As the morning of the twenty second opened up into a bright crisp day my phone went off and awoke me from a sleep much like the others I’d had that last six days; deep and exhausted. I looked at it to see that it was from the GM of the Angels; no doubt still wondering if I was coming that day. I climbed out of bed, pulling a sheet with me as I went and answered in the other room, as not to wake Sidney from his snoring sleep.

“Hello?”

“Hi, it’s Tony Reagens of the Angels. I was just wondering if you were still attending today?”

“Yeah. For sure. I’ll definitely be there. Would you have any objections if I brought my boyfriend with me?” I asked quietly, trying my best to keep my voice down.

“Not at all, Miss Armstrong…” he started.

“Bernie.” I interjected.

“Not at all, Bernie. We’re fine with that. You’re still dating Sidney, aren’t you?” he asked, seemingly pepy. He’d have to have been up for hours.

“Yep. Still with him.” I answered.

“Well that’s great. It’s seven months today, correct? That’s a feat for anyone in the sports world. I’ll have to let the box people know. Anyway, can you get here around thirty minutes pre game? We have to go over everything.” he asked quietly.

“Sure. Of course. I’m just happy to be coming. I’ll see you then, alright? I have to go wake Sidney up.” I told him quietly, hearing him chuckle.

“Of course, of course. I’ll talk to you then, Bernie. Goodbye.” he said, letting the faint clicking of the phone call being terminated resonate in my ear for a moment. I closed my phone and noticed that I’d missed a call. I remembered then that I hadn’t checked my phone before when I’d left for Madi’s. I’d completely forgotten.

I stepped back into the room where Sidney still lay unconscious and checked my phone, seeing that Zacky’s brother Jeremy had called. Much as Zacky was a creeper, Jeremy had become a very close friend and confident. He was a good kid. He didn’t leave me a voicemail but I resolved to call him when I got back to Pittsburgh. I had to live through to day first.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed I laid down on my stomach, head facing Sidney’s closed eyes and peaceful form. “Babe. Sidneyy. Siddy, you have to wake up. It’s tomorrow. Come on babe, wake up.” I whispered softly, voice floating on air. I watched him stir and his eyes fluttered open, staring at me with bright molten chocolate in his retinas.

“Shut up and kiss me.” he said, suddenly more awake than I thought him every to be after I tried to wake up. I complied and he kissed me deeper than ever before; a feat that I thought impossible until that very second. Letting up he pushed the hair that had fallen into my face away, running his hand over my shoulder lightly.

“Morning to you too, sleepy head.” I told him, letting my eyes close and falling into the quiet. He kissed me again, shorter and lighter this time before sitting up on his arm.

“You know what today is?” he asked, staring down at me for a minute before following my curves under the cover of the blanket.

“Nope. I’ve completely forgotten.” I answered jokingly. He wrinkled his nose at me and turned to the nightstand, pulling a bag out from inside a drawer. I felt myself become more and more confused as I watched him retrieve a box from inside it. It was light blue. Tiffany’s for certain. He removed something small from inside it and turned back to me, falling down beside me.

“Today is the anniversary of the day that I finally got up courage to ask you out. It’s also the day five years ago that I met you. And I didn’t know then that I’d be sitting here with you right now but I think by about four years ago I knew I was falling in love with you.” he told me, kissing me again, “It took me so long to come to terms with admitting it. I was so afraid that Colby would kill me and Riley would crush me and we were both so young. I didn’t think I knew what love was so I held off, dated a few people. They didn’t mean anything, really.”

“You’re..” I started, feeling his warm finger on my lips, shushing me.

“And so today I have a promise.” he told me, with obvious sincerity in his voice, “I have a promise to never break your heart again and always be there to talk about things with you. I want to be there for you, not just because we’re dating but because you’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I love you in every way I think I can. So here’s my promise.” he whispered, taking my hand in his and sliding a cold silver ring onto my right hand, on the finger which opposed my ring finger. I looked down at it and it shimmered in the light, inset with emeralds.

“You didn’t have…..”

“Shhh.” he said, “I’m not done. This represents my soul. You’ve brought it to life in a way that I knew hockey never would.” he started, sliding another ring onto the same finger, this one gold and inset with diamonds. Both insets of diamonds and emeralds were small and put far into the ring, not sticking out at all. Comforting. They wouldn’t get in the way. “And this is my heart. You’ve stolen it from me. Just make sure you take good care of it.”

“Can I speak now?” I asked meekly, misty eyed at everything he’d just said to me. He nodded and laid his head down on his arm, staring over into my eyes and wiping away a tear that strayed from my control. “You are the most amazing guy I think I’ve ever had the pleasure of spending five years with and you are definitely the most amazing guy I’ve ever slept in the same bed with. This is….. God this is more than I would’ve ever asked you for. I just want to be with you, Sid. You don’t even have to do anymore than kiss me and I know you love me. I love you so much I can’t stand it. You’re a wonderful guy.” I said, kissing him, “But I have to say that you’ve made me look bad. I’ve nothing to give you.”

“You don’t have to give me anything.” he answered, wrapping his arms around me, “I’ve got you and this wonderful feeling in my gut that butterflies are going to fly out and make my head explode. That’s all I need.”

“I love you.” I managed, holding back shimmering tears. He smiled and kissed them away as a few escaped me.

“I love you too.” he told me happily, kissing me one more time before pulling me into his arms and laying with me for a few silent minutes. Finally, after around twenty minutes of quiet, I heard my phone going off.

“Hello?” I asked, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

“Bernie! Hello! Team and I wanted to say…….. Happy seven month…. Anni….. Anni…” Geno stumbled over his words. I heard Max in the background screaming,

“ANNIVERSARY!”

“Anniversary.” Geno finished through his accent with a laugh.

“Awwww…. Thanks, Geno!” I answered, “And whoever else is with you, tell them I said hello.” I told him, getting a raised eyebrow from Sidney. I held the phone away from my ear and clicked the speaker button.

“Tell them all I said stop ruining our time in the hotel.” Sid joked, making my face flush.

“I will….. Tell them. How is vacation, Sid?” he asked, voice curious.

“It’s good. How’s Pittsburgh?” Sid said calmly, sitting up in bed.

“Is good. Mischa is….. Handful.” Geno said through a laugh, “Mischa! No! Don’t!” I’d sent Mischa with Ovie on his way back to DC and he’d given him to Geno until we got back.

“Haha yeah she is. Put her up to the phone, Geno.” I told him quietly, sitting up with Sidney. A few seconds later I heard a high pitched mewing coming through the phone.

“Mischa! Mischa, it’s mommy. Calm down and be nice for uncle Geno. Don’t cause him trouble.” I told her, making Sidney giggle. She stopped mewing for a few seconds until he stopped laughing and then she started again, louder and more whiny. “She wants you, Siddy.”

“Mischa, baby, you have to calm down. We’re coming home soon. You’ll get to see us, I promise. You can even sleep on my chest.” Sid offered, causing the cat to mew one more time before a low purring noise started and then stopped as Geno came back.

“Thank you….. She is calmer now. We have to go…….. We are going to movies. Marc is watching Mischa…… have fun.” Geno said.

“Bye Geno.” Sid and I said in unison before there was a soft click and then the line was dead. Sidney smiled and kissed my neck, managing to get me back down on the bed for a few minutes before I finally got him off me.

“Babe, we have to go to the game….” I said half-heartedly, earning a sad whine and puppy eyes from Sid.

“I know..” he said, sitting up with me, “I just love you so much…”

“Yeah I know you do. I think seven days of love is enough for a while, though. Let’s go out and have fun.” I suggested, getting up out of bed and standing in front of him, leaning my head on his.

“Mkay. Let’s go watch baseball.” he told me, smiling. We both got ready and we were out of our hotel by eleven and to the park by around five minutes earlier than we needed to be. We strolled around hand in hand for a while, wandering aimlessly through the empty stadium before someone on the field waved us down. As we approached I recognized him as Tony Reagens, Angels’ head coach.

“Bernie and Sidney. Nice to make your acquaintance.” he said as we got to him, offering Sidney a handshake and giving me a hug.

“Nice to meet you too, Tony.” Sidney said politely. Meanwhile I was a little stunned. Star struck wasn’t something that often times happened to me but this was one of those few precious times. I was meeting the man who had coached the team I’d admired from a very early age. The LA Angels had always been my team. And Tony seemed to sense it.

“Are you excited for today?” he asked casually as we walked along the diamond towards the dug out.

“Huh…. Oh yeah. I’ve been a fan all my life…. This is a….. dream come true.” I answered quietly. He laughed with Sidney at the far away hazed look in my eyes.

“Well I’m glad your happy. Tyler said you’d be kind of away from your mind for a while so half hour should be enough time for you to be……… dreamy fan.” Tony joked as we went through the dugout and into the locker room. The mention of Tyler’s name hit me and I immediately snapped back into my normal self.

“Tyler…. Yates?” I asked, as we walked through the locker room and to Tony’s office.

“Yep. He organized the whole thing. Called us after your brother called him. He’s been friends with the owner of the club for years. When he explained it to us it was easy to get you to be here.” He answered over his shoulder as he pulled a ball out of his desk that had been signed by the whole team. “Now, this is the ball you’ll be throwing today; if you’re up to the challenge.”

“Of course!” I answered as he tossed it to me. I made an expert catch and looked over the ball, a little star struck but not as much as I had been a few minutes ago.

“You’ve got a reputation to live up to. We’ve heard about when you gave Yates a black eye with one of those. Hell of a fast ball I hear.” he said, sitting back on his desk. My face felt hot but I knew it hadn’t been too pink. Sidney squeezed my hand and looked over at me curiously.

“What’s that all about?” he asked through a questioning look.

“Oh well, Tyler threw a ball at my head as a joke and when I caught it he told me to throw it back. He didn’t think I was that good so he got really close and since I felt a little insulted I tossed a fast ball and it accidentally hit him in the eye. He had a shiner for weeks and he tried to write it off as a fight but everyone knew that was crap so when they found out I threw it they all made fun of him. It was pretty funny, actually.” I said, laughing a little as I leaned back on the filing cabinet that sat behind me.

“So we heard. Our team made a habit of tormenting him on the mound when we played the Pirates.” Tony joked, rolling his eyes.

“So that’s why he was making those faces. That’s great.” I laughed, enjoying my time here a lot.

“Yep. So, would you like to go out and try out the pitch. Make sure you’ve got it right?” he asked, standing up.

“Sure.” I answered, still turning the ball in my hands. Sidney stopped me as Tony walked back towards the dugout.

“There’s so much you still have to tell me about you. I’ve been left out of a lot, babe.” he whispered, kissing me. I smiled.

“You’ve got time as long as you plan on staying around.” I told him, wrinkling my nose as he kissed me again.

“I do.” he said firmly, taking my hand as we walked out and followed Tony, who hadn’t stopped to make sure we were following him at all.

“Well, it looks like we don’t have a catcher out yet…” he said, looking around at the grounds man, who was fixing the field with precision, “We’ll have to wait..”

“I’ll do it.” Sid offered, “Always wanted to see how I’d fair in a different profession.”

“Great. The catcher’s stuff is back there,” Tony said, pointing in the dug out to where a glove, mask and chest pads sat. Sid put them on as Tony lead me to the mound I’d been many times, listening to Tyler teaching the rookies how to be a pitcher. “Alright, so when the game starts you’ll come out here and face the catcher. We’ll announce what’s happening, who you are and then you’ll throw the ball. Obvious enough. You have a seat in the dugout with me and the team and Sidney is more than welcome there as well.”

“Alright.” I answered happily. “Seems easy enough.”

“Oh! I almost forgot. We’ve got you a cap and Angels’ shirt too. Can’t let you come out here without something from us.” he told me, “Well, that’s all. Go for it.”

I turned towards Sidney and twisted the ball in my hands, watching as he waited easily behind home plate. “Ready?” I called over. He nodded and I turned, left foot towards the plate as I’d seen Tyler do so many times. I pulled back and threw. Hard. The ball whipped through the air and landed hard and fast in Sidney’s hand. I watched him stand up and drop the glove, rubbing his hands together.

“Owww! Baby, you need to not throw so damn hard.” he said, coming over to me. Tony laughed.

“One hell of an arm you’ve got there.” Tony said, laughing as he patted my shoulder. I smiled.

“Being with my brother’s all my life gave me that. You have to stand up for yourself when they’re tackling you. They never much liked it when I punched them.” I joked. Tony and Sid laughed as I heard the gates to the stadium creek open. Almost game time.

“Alright, lets get back inside so we can get the players up to speed on everything and let you two get acquainted.” Tony said, picking up the ball as we passed home and went back into the locker rooms. Sidney sat the catcher’s stuff down as he’d found it and we followed him, sitting down in the locker room. Silence fell over us for a moment as we sat together and then Sidney rubbed his hand, holding it tenderly.

“Did I hurt you that bad?” I asked, taking his hand in mine gently and looking it over. There was clearly a baseball sized red mark there. I kissed it gently and he smiled, wrapping his free arm around me.

“You’ve got a hell of a throw.” he answered. I laughed. The way his hand looked I knew he wasn’t joking around.

“I can’t help it. All those years of beating up Riley really gave me some good practice.” I answered softly, enjoying the calm of the locker room as the team began to come in. And almost like that the game was upon us. I’d changed into my new Angels’ shirt and put on the red hat that I’d worn most of my life. Sidney was already out in the dugout with the players, adorning his penguins shirt proudly. A spec of black and gold in the sea of red and white. They sang the anthem and I came out and stood with Tony and Sid, getting a kiss as they announced that I was to throw out the first pitch. Tony took me out of the dugout and as soon as I hit the grass I was serene. The butterflies that had flown in my stomach settled and I felt alright. It must’ve been the large crowd. I’d always felt at home at the Mellon when the crowd was there. This was no different.

I approached the mound and saw the catcher waiting for me to throw. He signaled as most pitcher’s always do, though I didn’t see a hint of anything that looked like fast ball. I’d surprise him. As everyone seemed to quiet down I stood back and repeated the same feat I’d done earlier that day, throwing hard and fast towards the catcher. He, being a pro, caught it and didn’t need to remove his glove and caress his hand and he took off his mask, shaking my hand as he handed me the ball. I smiled at him and headed back to the dugout as the game started.

I sat with Sidney mostly and the on field camera panned over us a few times, proclaiming our seven month and happiness together to the world by a banner that spun across the bottom of the monitor. And the game went wonderfully. I cheered at the top of my lungs for every home run and it surprised Sidney to see me so into a game. He’d never seen me get so worked up over something like this before. I was always pretty reserved at Pirates games and at Pens games, save for the occasional joke on the bench, I was very quiet.

I screamed as we hit a home run with bases loaded. It was enough to spur us to a total annihilation of the Dodgers, a team which I had hated with a passion throughout my life. It was a 15-7 game and at the end of the ninth I screamed in unison with our team as another home run was thrown out of the park, resulting in another three run score. 18-7. We won. The team fell into the lockers to the screaming of the stadium as everyone left and I felt my voice box get numb. Sidney laughed as he took a seat and pulled me onto his lap. I’d turned my hat around by this point and he took it off, holding me close.

“You’re so excited, babe! You have to calm down before you lose your voice from screaming.” he told me, kissing my cheek.

“Okay.” I said gently, feeling the soreness of my throat now.

“Bernie, Sid! I want to talk to you!” Tony called from his office. We looked at each other and stood, heading through the crowds of guys and going to the office. He closed the door as we came in and smiled at us. “You two were great tonight. Thanks for coming out to the game.”

“Thanks for having us to the game. It was one of the greatest nights of my life.” I said, smile mirroring his.

“But listen, that’s not why I called you back here.” he said, sitting down in his chair. I raised an eyebrow and cast a curious glance at Sidney.

“The catcher and I were talking and he was very impressed by your throw tonight.” Tony said thoughtfully. My face must’ve been a sight to see because Sidney laughed a little under his breath as Tony continued. “And I realize fully that this is a lot to ask of you but we’d like to have you come and train with us. You could teach our pitcher a thing or two about fast balls.”

I had to stop, thinking hard and fast about what had just happened. The coach of my favorite baseball club had offered me a job with his team. The team I’d dreamed about working for all my life. But suddenly I faded back in from my childhood dreams and realized that Sidney had taken my hand. Sidney. Taking this job would mean leaving him. Leaving him and my friends on the other coast. “I’m sorry, but I can’t accept your offer. I can’t leave the Penguins and my friends. They’re all on the other coast and I can’t just up and leave them.”

“I respect that. But if you ever need a job, we’re here and we’d love to have you.” he said, shaking my hand as he returned to his paper work. I nodded and thanked him quietly, walking out with Sidney and heading back to the hotel. We gathered our things and headed for the airport. Our plane to Pittsburgh was leaving later that night. We were right on time and as we flew towards Pittsburgh Sidney finally made a comment about the game.

“Babe, why didn’t you take that job?” he whispered, careful not to wake anyone else. Everyone seemed to be asleep but us. “You said it yourself, being there was a dream come true.”

I didn’t say anything, just glanced down to the rings that glittered in the dim overhead lights. Finally I unlatched the necklace that hadn’t left my neck since Christmas and held it out in front of us both, looking over at him as I opened it up to show the pictures inside. “Because this picture of you isn’t good enough for me.” I whispered.

“But you could’ve lived out your dream. You could’ve been with a team you really respected and loved. Living a dream.” he answered, looking over at me. I laughed a little under my breath and he raised an eyebrow at me as if I’d gone mad.

“I am living out a dream. I’m working for a team I respect and love. It’s like a fantastic surprise every single day. I get to be with my friends and family,” I started, feeling the sudden jet lag hit me, “And I get you. I get to see you and hug you and kiss you. And being that far away from you would be hard. It’d be harder than it’s ever been being away from home.”

He finally cracked a smile and put his arm around me, closing the locket and replacing it around my neck. He kissed me before sitting back in his seat and sighing. “Well I’m kind of glad you said that because honey, if you were that far away, I’d go mad.”

“See. It’s agreed. I made the right choice.” I whispered, leaning into his side. He chuckled.

“Just because I admit I’d miss you doesn’t mean to did the right thing. That was an irreplaceable opportunity to do something you’ve never done. You could’ve done something that you’ve wanted to do, as I hear it, since you were in diapers. I’m already doing what I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid and I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted but just because you don’t want to be away… I don’t want that to be the reason you don’t take a job you’ve always dreamed about.” he answered, looking over at me endearingly.

“I made the right choice. I know I did. I’d hate to be away from you and the guys and then there’s my job with the Penguins and I have the Pirates and I’m just… I love being there. Pittsburgh is my home. I couldn’t leave. It’s a place where I’ve learned to be a great coach and a friend and it’s taught me so many things about life and I’m just not ready to leave. And you,” I started, sitting up and looking at him with a wily glint in my eyes, “You’re living a dream and so am I. I never would’ve imagined that I’d be working with the Penguins. I mean my brothers always told me I could do anything and be a great hockey player but after college there was nothing. And now I get to go to work every single day and play hockey with pros. I get to help a goalie who plays in the NHL with his plays. That’s a dream. And it sure as hell is a wonderful reality.”

“I guess you’re right. I just want to make sure you didn’t just chose that because of leaving us or anything. We’d be happy for you, a little sad you were leaving, but all around pretty happy.” he told me, staring out the window and into the now glowing lights of the cities we were flying over.

“Sounds like you’re trying to get rid of me.” I said jokingly, cuddling back up to him. He laughed a little louder than he had intended and the woman in front of us stirred but didn’t wake.

“Nah. Because you’d just go to Thunder Bay with the Staal boys. That’d drive me nuts.” he answered calmly after we were certain that the woman in front of us was still asleep. She hadn’t been a treat to us when she was awake and had coffee, after a little bit of sleep and being rudely awoken she wouldn’t be any better.

“Don’t get worried, I won’t run away with Jordan. I promise.” I told him just before I slipped into a dream.